Can I Be Your Hero
by rikkukirst
Summary: If there was one thing Seifer didn't account for after being allowed back at Garden, it was falling in Love. He would do anything to be Selphie's Hero, but with a War looming, an over-protective boyfriend & constant reminders of his tainted past? Trouble.
1. Kiss with the girl you could never have

Seifer smiled as Selphie leaped into the air happily, she had just passed her third grade of final seeD battle exams and she was extremely happy. He was about to go give her a few kind words when he noticed somebody walking up to her.

He scowled, it was that chump, irritatingly bigheaded battleaxe Locke, Selphie's boyfriend, well he said _boyfriend_, even though it wasn't official, they obviously had the hots for each other and so it was definitely a potential relationship in everybody's eyes.

Except Seifer. He hated that guy, so annoyingly perfect, the headmaster's favourite seeD, apart from the favourable Squall Leonheart, of course, but then again, at least Squall had the excuse of saving the world before becoming the hero. Locke was just a jackass, what the hell was the headmaster thinking when taking him on? Except of course his muscled tree trunk arms and army-guy expression which made every girl at Balamb swoon.

Seifer scowled even more.

"So babe, what you up to tonight? You wanna go out and celebrate?"

Locke's deep scratchy voice rung through the hall, it was a voice that just screamed authority and it was a 'don't-mess-with-me-or-ill-kick-your-ass' voice. Definitely.

But that made Seifer smile; one day he'd get the pleasure.

It was after dark. Happy couples were strolling along the promenade of the 'secret place' within the training centre. A place made strictly for love and peace.

Seifer stubbed out his cigarette and pulled out another one from his coat pocket. Scowling, he lit it and puffed out smoke that flew lightly across the sky. Ignoring dark glances headed his way from couples, he sighed and began to angrily stomp his feet on the ground.

"Hey, do you mind?"

A guy who looked no older than 16 was sitting with a girl equally young, she looked as nervous as the guy but Seifer smiled slightly at his braveness.

"So sorry," Seifer apologised without an ounce of sincerity.

The guy surprisingly seemed to pick up on that and he frowned, "Hey, if you have to do that all night, why don't you go do it someplace else?"

"Hmmm", _Man, this guy is brave but I still wanna kick his ass_, "Yea, well it's too bloody hot in here anyway. I hope you let your mom know where you are, she'll be worried about you." He smirked as he walked off. _Kids, they have no idea._

"Seifer! Where were you last night?" Selphie put her hands on her hips as she stood outside his bedroom door. "Why didn't you come out with the gang?"

Seifer groaned and sat up, giving the person outside his door evil looks. "Because little messenger, I am not part of your dumbass _gang_, not do I want any part of it thank you. Now run along like a good little girl and leave me alone"

Selphie gave a big sigh and before he knew it, she had barged open his door and stood there, like an annoying goddess. Eyes sparkling, hair glowing and her expression were a mixture of questions and anger, well, as angry as a little always-happy brunette could be.

Seifer sat up and gave her a look. "Don't you ever do as you're told? Thought you were just supposed to be annoying. Not aggravating and stubborn." He sighed.

She smiled…"coz you told me that you would come out with us! So how comes you didn't?"

He growled, "Coz…you annoying little girl, I couldn't be arsed…I don't give a crap about a load of annoying teenagers dancing the night away with a crate load of booze. Give me a bunch of fire-breathing fiends to work out with any day."

It was then her face dropped, and she almost looked as though she was going to cry, "A…aren't you happy that I passed my exam? Coz…coz you always said that the day I would pass my third grade, you would celebrate it with me."

He looked puzzled, "Since when?"

She lifted her chin stubbornly, "Since we were eight!"

He rolled his eyes, "That was over 10 years ago messenger girl, now leave me alone."

She raised her head and their eyes met. Her's: green and brown, sparkling angrily. His, a deep relaxed blue and yet hard with a daring look within their depths. It was as if he was challenging her temper.

"Fine." she stated. "I don't care if you don't wanna come with me. It s'ok, I don't need you!"

He sighed angrily as she walked away, head high. Defiant.

"Wait." He said.

She waited.

Seifer got up from his bed and before she could move away he grabbed her, "Don't ever walk away from me like that." He growled and pressed his lips against hers. It was a rash decision he knew he shouldn't have done, but he couldn't help it. He wanted this girl far more than he wanted her to leave.

Their kiss was sweet and passionate, to his surprise and pleasure, she responded to him and pressed herself against him as he held her even closer.

Selphie listened to her heart beating wildly; she couldn't believe Seifer was kissing her! Oh for how long she had wanted…

Wait a minute.

Seifer.

_Seifer kissing her?_

No. This is _wrong…_

Breathing fast, they both pulled apart, Seifer felt her slight resistance and he let go. Finding his breath, he looked at her, and slowly said,

"Don't stay out too late messenger girl."

And he walked out, trying not to look at her puzzled face.

The bunch of potential seeD's all sat silent in the classroom. Some listening attentively, some were yawning and one or two flicking bits of paper at each other.

Selphie sighed and rubbed her head gingerly.

_Ouch._

She groaned as another headache began its journey inside her brain, teaching kids how to become seeD's wasn't an easy job.

"So…uh anyway guys we were discussing the effects of magic as en element attack…no, um…a Defence Functioning System." She squinted at a textbook, "Uh…I think."

A few boys were playing up at the back and she put the book down, "Hey! Stop fooling around, we need to concentrate on the dangers of uh…evolution of mid level magic to high level magic."

One of the girls put up her hand and Selphie struggled to remember her name,

"Eva" the girl prompted.

"Uh yes…Eva. Uh…OK so you have a question Eva?"

The girl sighed and stood up, "Yeah, I thought Professor Tribal said that we were gonna talk about the forbidden magic levels and how the anti-magic shields in areas can disable the function of status effects of healing magic."

Selphie scanned her mind desperately as she tried to answer the girl's question.

"Well…uh…"

"Eva" the girl prompted again.

"Eva…right…You see, as you know uh…professor Tribal is currently undergoing a medical with the seeD troops and he hasn't had the time to properly inform you on the procedures of the effects so he asked me to go over with you the effects on status effect magic."

"You mean…level magic" a boy looked puzzled.

"Uh yes, that's what I meant. Level magic."

"But you said that we were gonna undermine one of the dangerous procedures. As far as Professor Tribal taught us, the effect of evolution mid-level magic is totally appropriate and safe." Eva looked smug as she related this.

"Well maybe Professor Tribal was talking about the dangers of mid-level magic when battling against fiends with a luck ration of 255 and a status effect of nought. I'm sure Miss. Tilmitt understood the reason for your question, but not the inappropriate way you chose to relay it."

The class turned to the new voice at the door of the classroom. Stood there, with a satisfied polite manner, was Seifer. Looking sturdy and handsome as always Selphie admitted grudgingly.

Eva on the other hand was looking as nervous as a first day student. "Uh…yes sir. Of course."

Seifer looked at the girl hard, "You sure you don't want to repeat the question?"

Eva sat back down and shook her head glumly, the class giggled; they all knew that Eva had a crush on Mr. Seifer Almassy and she was always boasting about him, but in the end, she was just as scared of him as anyone else.

Selphie gave a little sigh of relief and just before she turned to thank him, he had gone.

"Now," she bristled on, trying not to let the class see how shaky she felt, "Where were we?"


	2. Accusations & A Questionable fate

Zell was downing the last of his soda and doughnut impressively when a figure sat down in the chair opposite him. He looked up, mouth full of doughnut.

"Yo, whassup Squall?" he asked not at all embarrassed about the fact he was talking with his mouth full. He always did. No way was he gonna change.

Squall didn't even realise that it was Zell opposite him and he looked up at him with a blank look on his face.

"Oh…hi Zell."

Zell waited a few moments before answering nervously, "So…er you want something Squall, coz I'm free, well…y'know after my doughnut o' course, man I gotta get another one again coz these ones are definitely the best, did I ever tell you about the time, when I ate a whole lard full o' doughnuts and I had to go see the Dr, man, my belly was moving around like a-"

"Zell." Squall warned, "You're babbling again."

"No I ain't." he argued, "I just-"

"Who is she?" Squall asked, with a slight smile.

"Who…is who?" Zell was all innocence.

"The girl you are trying to impress."

"Man, I ain't trying to impress no one, I'm just-"

"Zell, you always babble where's there a girl you're trying to impress, and I bet…"

Squall turned around discreetly to survey the cafeteria, he checked everybody, until he saw a girl sitting a few tables away reading a book.

She was very pretty, even with her back turned to them, she had long dark hair down to her waist, and a band tied around the ends of her hair. She was petite and feminine, wearing long black trousers and black boots and her top was hung around her shoulders with long sleeves.

She was very different from anybody he had ever seen, she almost, looked out of place. Squall thought to herself.

"She's hot ain't she?" Zell sounded hopeful.

"Yea she is, but somehow, I don't think you two would be a good couple."

Zell looked at him strangely, "oh man you got a girlfriend remember? For all us poor single lot, we gotta find someone y'know? Besides, since when did you become such an expert?"

Squall looked at the girl hard.

She looked familiar somehow…

No.

…Was it?

Zell looked at his leader, he had a small smile on his lips and Zell was almost feeling afraid. "Squall man, I'm going over there and there's nothing you or anyone can do to stop me OK? So I'm just gonna-"

He stopped as the girl got up, and was about to rush over there when she turned around to face them. Zell looked at her open mouthed, and for a few seconds he couldn't find the words.

Then they came.

"_Quistis?"_

Selphie was sitting in the quad singing softly to herself. Her class had finished long ago, and she was pleased to find a little time to herself. Sitting in her favourite spot of Balamb Garden.

Maybe she'd go to Balamb Town today; she needed to buy a few things, maybe even get-

"Is this seat taken?"

A warm, masculine voice reached her ears and interrupted her thoughts.

Looking behind her, she saw him. Standing there. Looking just as gorgeous as-

_Stop it. You do not think about Seifer in that way. Not now, not ever again._

_Never again?_

"Oh…er no...You can sit there, if you wanna."

She tried to inflict a cool, calm and collected tone to her voice, but it just came out as a defensive squeak. Always the mouse, she thought sadly.

Seifer lowered himself and sat on the ground next to her, looking out to sea. The Garden was back in its original place, and was going to be here for a while. It was Balamb Town weekend, where the students who had families in Balamb could go visit for a few days.

The first words that came from Seifer were totally unexpected, "You been thinking about our kiss too eh?"

She pulled up her knees and rested her head on them; she replied defensively, "What are you talking about?"

He laughed a little then, "Hehe don't pretend nothing happened messenger girl, we kissed and now you're avoiding me, totally normal it is, don't worry about it."

Selphie felt anger rising up inside her, "I didn't kiss you! YOU kissed ME! I didn't want you to, and I wish you never did."

Seifer looked at her for such a long time that she was beginning to feel uncomfortable. "So what you're saying is, you are not attracted to me at all and you want me to leave you alone, is that it?"

"Don't put words in my mouth!" she was almost yelling now, "Why did you do that? I have a boyfriend y'know, a BOYFRIEND! You knew it and yet you still had to kiss me, why?"

She waited for an answer, but it seemed as if he was denying her one.

"Well?" his eyes spoke volumes and her cheeks were red from shouting and embarrassment.

"Chill out messenger girl, just calm down. It's not like we did anything wrong, I just wanted to see what it was like."

"Kissing me?" Selphie looked shocked.

"No." he replied, leaning forward so his mouth was inches from hers. "I kissed you because I wanted you to know what it's like to feel mixed up emotions. To feel the pressure of having to choose which path you're gonna take in life. If you don't have stress and pressure mixed in your blood before battles, you're never gonna get past the first stage."

Selphie looked at him incredulously, "You kissed me because you wanted to see if I could handle mixed emotions and feelings?"

He gave a slight nod, "Everybody's got inner demons to cope with messenger girl, you just gotta learn how to fight 'em and when to fight 'em."

And with that, he leaned forwards even closer as if to kiss her, despite herself Selphie closed her eyes and waited for their lips to touch.

They never did.

He kissed her on the forehead and gave a patronising smile, "Keep fighting." He added softly with a slight grin.

He walked away from her for the second time; she clenched her fists, ready to knock his head through a wall if he ever touched her again.

_You're the only demon I wanna fight._ She thought, _and this time, it's gonna be me who walks away smiling._

Zell was still staring open-mouthed at uh..._Quistis?_

"Yes it's me." Quistis sighed, and fingered her long brown hair, "So. I take it my disguise didn't work?"

"Only from behind." Squall confirmed, "but...you still…look…uh...different, then you used to."

Quistis gave Zell a glare, "OK Zell, you can stop staring at me, it's not like I have two heads y'know!"

Zell, with an effort shut his mouth, only to open it again, "Man, Quistis, you look…hot." He scrutinised her in great depth.

She blushed, mostly from anger, but a little of pleasure, "Hey! What is that supposed to mean? That's so typical of you Zell!"

Squall smiled, "Zell's incapable of looking past a pretty face."

Quistis then turned to Squall, "And you're not better!" she scorned.

Squall looked confused, "Huh? Me? But what-"

"Don't you go pretending you're innocent too!" she was getting angrier now, "You've been hanging round with him too much" she pointed to Zell, then turned her fury on Squall, "If you're such the amazing, brilliant leader, why you spending all your time sitting on your lazy butt, in the cafeteria and checking out other girls when you have a girlfriend who loves you more than anything else in the world?"

Now dishevelled and angry, Quistis glared at both of them for a few seconds, before turning on her expensive black heels and walking out of the cafeteria, head held high, cheeks flushed.

Zell turned to the mystified Squall, "So…er…you gonna send Rinoa to check up on her?"

"Do you want to go to the town tonight?" Rinoa asked Selphie as they both sat in Rinoa's room munching sweets.

Selphie stretched a little and sighed, "Uh, ok, but I have a class tomorrow so I can't be too late."

Rinoa nodded, "sure, anyway, I'm sure Squall and Locke will take us back safely, not that we need protecting of course," she added, "I mean, hello? We _did_ also save the world from Ultimecia so it's not like we're helpless or anything!"

Selphie hardly responded, her thoughts were elsewhere, and even the thought of Locke did nothing to stir her emotions.

"Hey, Selphie are you OK?"

Selphie looked up from where she sat on the floor and stared at Rinoa blankly, "uh? Did you say something?"

Rinoa giggled, "Are you dreaming about Locke again? Selphie, you're gonna see him soon, don't worry!"

The brunette looked towards the floor and twiddled her fingers; she couldn't tell Rinoa that she was actually thinking about Seifer. She just couldn't.

C'mon, Seifer used to be Rinoa's _boyfriend,_ even if it was for a short while, but they were still a couple last year and Selphie had no idea to what Rinoa would think or say to the idea of Selphie going after him.

Wait.

_Going after him?_

_Snap outta it Tilmitt!_ She chastised herself.

"Do you love him?"


	3. I'm with you Back To The Past

_Yes._

"Uh what?" Selphie perked up quickly, _did I just say yes?_

"Locke." Rinoa smiled at her, waiting for an answer, "You love him?"

Selphie laughed nervously, "ha-ha, of course Ri, why would you ask me that?"

"Oh, I don't know" Rinoa stretched languid on the sofa, "I guess I find it all so sweet, Y'know you two make the perfect couple"

"Oh, I wouldn't exactly call us that" Selphie intercepted quickly.

"But you are!" Rinoa smiled, "You guys are known all over the school, everyone looks up to you"

"B-But we haven't even been going out that long!" Selphie said shrilly, still trying to hide the alarm in her voice.

Rinoa laughed "Ah Selphie, it doesn't matter; everyone can see you guys are made for each other, in fact I-"she stopped in mid-sentence, suddenly looking a little embarrassed.

Selphie looked at Ri a little suspiciously, "What is it?"

"This is gonna sound a little silly, but I guess. I-I'm a little jealous." Rinoa confessed with a smile, "I know it sounds stupid, but just looking at you guys makes me feel some hope, and sometimes I wish me and Squall had that same sparkle you guys seem to have."

Selphie looked at her friend, this time not bothering to hide her alarm, "But Ri! You and Squall are the most famous couple in all of Balamb! You guys are the ones who give everyone Hope! In fact, I-I don't know why everyone makes a fuss about me and Locke…" she broke off, looking a little shamefaced, "I'll tell you a secret Ri, I…used to be jealous of you guys. When Irvine left-" Selphie stopped again, this time a shadow of pain washed over her expression, "I felt devastated, it felt as if my only chance at love had walked out of my life and had taken all my Hope with him."

Rinoa's expression softened, she remembered what had happened between Selphie and Irvine. It had been a painful memory, and yet it was something no one could have anticipated.

…_eight months earlier…_

It wasn't long after the battle of Ultimecia that Selphie and Irvine had started dating, they had been attracted to each other ever since they had met at Galbadia Garden. Everyone could see that Irvine and Selphie made each other the happiest they had ever been and everyone thought it normal to assume they would get married one day. In fact, there had been rumours flying round that Irvine was planning to ask her.

However, three days before a SeeD Graduation party held in honour for all the new SeeD's, Irvine was sent on a mission within the vicinity of Esther, he had promised to be back in time for the party and so he was sent off in one of the mission cars.

He wasn't back for the Graduation party.

He wasn't back for Squall's birthday celebration two weeks later.

It was another six days later when Selphie received a letter from the Esther Government; it informed her that there had been a shootout between the Galbadian Activists and the Esther government over the possession of the Eastern Border which separated the two cities. The only news she had received from this was that hundreds have been reported missing, among them, was Irvine Kinneas.

However, as the mission had been reported as a Government conspiracy and regarded as 'Top Secret', no civilian was allowed to make contact with the government asking for any information regarding the missing.

Selphie had tried desperately to reach Irvine, for two whole months, she tried again and again, only to end up breaching 'Government Conspiracy Rights' and was given a warning and restricted access to the files of the shootout.

By this time, she had almost given up hope.

Selphie received another letter in the late spring, the letter was sealed with the Ester Government brand, and in all haste she tore it open.

It was only then she realised why the government had written to her.

Irvine was dead.

Since then, Selphie had made herself busy, she participated in the Garden Committees and signed up as a tutor for training SeeD's, anything to wipe her mind free of what was written in that final letter.

_Miss Tilmitt…. are sorry to inform you…we promise to you that these culprits…understand how hard this must be…Government does all it can to prevent this…_

It just had sounded so…formal. She understood that there were many other people who had lost friends and family during that time, but she couldn't help feeling angry.

Her lover was dead, and she didn't even get to say goodbye. There would be no future for them and no matter how hard she tried, moving on seemed like the hardest thing she would ever do.

For three months, Selphie trained as a tutor for SeeD's, with the help of her friends beside her, she managed to get over her grief and bury Irvine's memory. It was getting easier and she realised that maybe, just maybe… she was going to be OK.

Nothing could prepare her for what was coming.

It dawned a clear day for the Garden at Balamb and Squall decided that there would be a trip to Delling for the older students. That evening, they flew to the light-filled town and proceeded to spend their time shopping, in the bars and of course, at the infamous Galbadian Hotel.

Squall and the others were sitting in the stalls on the ground floor of the hotel. He could remember this was where Laguna always came to hear Julia play the piano. It was where he had fallen in love with her, and Squall felt the warmth as the memory flooded his mind. He felt

Rinoa's hand squeezing his and automatically responded.

A petite blonde stepped up to the piano and bowed to the audience, Squall heard the men whistle their appreciation as she sat down and played the opening notes.

The melody was smooth and heart-warming; Squall felt calm as Rinoa leaned back into him and watched the girl play the piano.

Suddenly, the pianist began to sing and Squall opened his eyes quickly as he realised the girl was singing the exact same song Julia used to sing for Laguna at this very hotel.

"Squall" Rinoa laughed happily, "It's our song!"

Squall glanced at her, "It sure is," he smiled back at her, and leading the way to the dance floor, they both started to sway to the tune.

'_Whenever sang my songs…On the stage, on my own…'_

Selphie finished her drink and looked up at the dance floor, she could see Squall and Rinoa dancing and looking at each other as if they were in a world of their own,

She sighed, unsure of whether it was a content sigh, or a sigh of loneliness and uncertainty.

'…_I saw you smiling at me, was it real or just my fantasy...did you ever know…that I had mine…on you…?'_

The feeling had never felt so painful before, _I've buried his memory_ she told herself, it was time to move on.

She spotted a blonde man sitting at the bar, nursing a drink. Screwing up her courage she walked over to him.

"Hi!" she mustered up a bright smile and looked shyly at him, "um...I was wandering if you wanted to uh-"

"I'd love to" he smiled back at her, "My name's Jon."

"Selphie" she shook his hand, he had a firm grip and for some reason it made her feel warm and secure. He led the way to the dance floor

and they started swaying to the song.

'_Darling…so there you are…with that look on your face…as if you never hurt, as if you never doubt…'_

Selphie closed her eyes and allowed herself to relax and enjoy the song, it was one of her favourites and for an instant she felt as if she was happy again. She remembered herself being on the shore of the Orphanage with the others. Lighting bonfires and setting off fireworks. Those memories kept flooding her mind as she allowed Jon to lead the dancing.

'…_you know that…you are no dreamer….'_

The ending notes became slower and the music slowly faded out until the audience started clapping enthusiastically and the girl got up from the stool.

Selphie clapped along with them, enjoying the sense of relaxation around her.

But what she saw next froze every vein inside her body.

As the girl bowed, she beckoned somebody up on the stage.

It was a man, with long brown hair tied back into a ponytail, he wore suede trousers and cowboy boots and a long brown coat. He stepped up on the stage, a wide smile plastered on his face as he embraced the pianist.

The audience cheered louder, but this time, Selphie did not join in.

She waited until the man turned round to face the audience, hands clasped to the girls.

Irvine.

Selphie was helpless to do anything. She wanted desperately to turn around and run, but her legs had turned to stone and they wouldn't budge.

Her voice wouldn't work, not that she was able to utter anything but a strangled cry, her mouth felt as dry as the desert and her eyes were fixed on to the smiling man before her.

…_no…._

_This could not be._

_He's dead. Irvine's dead….He's dead….right?_

He had to be, the letter said so. The government wouldn't lie.

_Yeah – just like they didn't when they said he would be back before the Graduation Party._

_But still. It couldn't be him…_

The cheers coming from the audience died down as the man and pianist stepped forwards towards a mic.

"Thank you very much everyone!" The girl cried as she hugged him.

"Ladies and Gentleman, I have something very important to say," the man held up his hands to discourage any further cheering from the audience,

…_that voice…_

"As most of you are aware, my relationship with Sylvia becomes stronger everyday and you all agree with me when I say her performances are better every time she plays"

The audience responded with another hearty cheer,

"But tonight, is a special night for her, for the both of us. Before she leaves to go on tour tonight, I have one special request that I must say."

Music started playing in the background as the man bent down on one knee.

The audience gasped, and Sylvia's face took on a mixed expression of astonishment and delight as he held out a small box.

"Sylvia." He said. "Would you-"

"NO!"

A hush swept through the audience as they all turned around to face the protestor.

Selphie stood there, hands to her mouth, she froze to the spot. Whatever had possessed her to scream out loud like that?

Any minute he was going to see her. This was something she was not going to stick around to find out.

So she did what any sensible person would do in this situation.

She ran.

The air outside was cold but Selphie didn't notice as she flung open the double glass doors and rushed down the steps. However, in her haste she miscalculated a step and her foot tripped over the stone edge.

Down seven steps Selphie fell, she felt relieved when she stopped falling but when she felt the impact of the concrete sidewalk, she didn't think herself too lucky.

_I don't care…I don't care what happens to me…Life's meaningless anymore…_

These thoughts filled her mind as the consequences of her miscalculation took over her body. Her muscles screamed and her bones felt as sensitive and weak as a newborn baby's.

_Is this what death feels like…? Coz it really...really...hurts…_

Amidst the pain and blurriness of vision, Selphie felt movement coming towards her. Before she realised what was happening, she felt people bending over her, examining her condition.

"Someone call for an ambulance!" she heard people cry.

…_leave me alone…I'm fine…_

"Selphie." It was a voice out of the darkness, "C'mon wake up, don't leave me darlin'"

That voice, that painfully familiar voice which she had loved for so long was close enough for her to feel the warm breath fan her face.

She tried to speak, there was so much she had to say, but for now all she could get out was, "I…can't see…"

"Try opening your eyes darlin'"

With an effort, Selphie opened her eyelids, but it was at that point she wished she kept them shut.

Even from a horizontal position she could see his profile, the achingly familiar face which she had longed to touch, those deep green eyes that had scrutinised her and had loved her day after day.

She felt her own eyes fill with easy tears, and she closed them to block out the painful image.

"No-no don't close your eyes Sephie, keep awake darlin', help is on its way."

…_don't call me that…_

"…dead…" she uttered softly.

"No, you're not honey, you're not dead you're gonna be fine, just hang in there."

Selphie gave a tiny watery smile accompanied with an ironic laugh, "no…you…you're dead…" it hurt a lot to say this, but it was worth it, she watched his expression change as she coughed from the pain.

Irvine's face froze, and an unreadable expression crossed his face, it looked as if he was about to say something when there were shouts coming from the hotel.

"Selphie!"

"…Squall...Rinoa…" Selphie muttered weakly.

"Selphie! Oh my-we heard that you fell and were so worried!"

The talking suddenly stopped, and Selphie didn't need to see to know what happened.

"…Irvine?" That was Rinoa's hesitant voice.

"Irvine." Squall. Definitely.

Ambulance sirens rang out as they approached closer.

"You guys," Irvine said, "I can explain-"

_What!...you can explain what?_

But Selphie couldn't hear anything.

She had blacked out.


	4. His Last Goodbye

Selphie spent two weeks in the hospital in Delling. Throughout the time Irvine had been in to see her, but during the time she was conscious, she wouldn't allow him to come in.

She didn't want to see him.

Rinoa came in everyday, and everyday she brought presents.

"If you continue like this, my room's gonna look like a flower shop" Selphie joked.

But this time Rinoa didn't smile, "Selphie," she sighed.

"What?"

"Irvine's alive."

Selphie looked away, "I know."

"So?"

"So what?"

She heard Rinoa sigh again and get up, "So? Is that all you can say? He's _alive_ Selphie, this is something no one expected, and now after all this time you _don't_ wanna see him?"

"That's right."

Rinoa brushed her fingers through her hair, "I don't understand, I mean, you love him and no-"

"No, you don't understand Rinoa!" Selphie was sitting up now, her green eyes fiery with a powerful emotion. "I fell in love with Irvine Kinneas. He died. I buried him, I got over him. This man is not dead, I don't know him and I don't want to!"

Tears stubbornly came to her eyes but she didn't let them fall, "Have you any idea how I'm supposed to feel? Because I don't know, I don't know whether to be angry, or confused, or happy or surprised because the man who I loved was dead, but- all this time. He was…with… another girl!"

Selphie flung her head into her hands and cried, uncontrollable sobs racked her body as she let out all those emotions she didn't know how to express.

Rinoa sat on the bed and held her close, "I know Selphie, I'm so sorry."

"It wasn't your fault, none of this is" Selphie muttered through her hands.

…_it's mine…I let him go…_

Another week later. Selphie was ready to leave, the others carried her baggage out whilst she hobbled behind with Rinoa. The only injury she had now was a sprained ankle which she was quite able to walk along slowly with a pair of crutches.

Irvine was at the entrance of the hospital.

Selphie stopped, their eyes met, but she looked away, afraid he would see the tears forming there.

"It's OK Ri" she said to her friend, "I can do this."

Rinoa looked at her for a second and nodded, "I'll be outside" she said softly to her.

As Rinoa passed Irvine, they said something to each other which Selphie was too far away to hear, and then Ri went outside.

Selphie started to walk towards him.

"Let me help you darlin'" Irvine walked towards her.

"No." the word was out before Selphie could stop it, "Don't."

She looked into his face, he wasn't smiling, but then again neither was she.

"Why didn't you come see me?"

Irvine looked puzzled, "I did Sephie, I came in everyday but you wouldn't let me see you."

"I meant during the time I thought you were dead!" Selphie spat out, she didn't care how harsh her words sounded, she was hurt and she had to let him know how much he hurt her. "Do you have any idea what I've been going through for the past three months? What any of us have been going through?"

Irvine looked straight at her steadily. "I didn't wanna hurt you." He said softly.

Selphie laughed, but it wasn't a happy laughter, it was a hurtful laughter, she felt betrayed, and all of a sudden she felt…exhausted.

"I'm tired and I'm in a lot of pain. I have nothing to say to a dead man." She started to walk off but Irvine blocked her path.

"But I do." He replied, "Listen Selphie, I know there's nothing I can do to make this less painful. I've hurt you and you have no idea how much it pained me to know that. No listen-"he put a hand up when Selphie was about to protest, "I'm not done yet. If you want, I can walk out of here right now and leave you alone. To you, I'd still be that dead man and you can hate me as much as you want. But the reasons I had for doing what I did I don't regret. I wish I didn't have to do it. But I did. I had to. I got over it." He stared meaningfully at her, "My love for you will never waver darlin' but I know that I can't be with you. All I do, is cause you pain. You deserve better than me."

This time Selphie didn't even try and protest, instead she stared dumbly at him, trying to figure out what he was trying to say.

"…and that's why I'm gonna walk away"

_...Walk away?_

"Y-you mean…forever?" Selphie asked fearfully.

"Forever." Irvine said with an edge to his tone. "It's best. For the both of us." He added.

He walked up to her, as close as he had ever been, and kissed her on the tip of her nose, "There's no room for a dead man in an aspiring woman's life. I realised that a long time ago."

As he walked away, Selphie looked at the ground; she couldn't face looking at the one whose heart she had given to, when he was walking out of her life.

…_But-_

"Irvine-"Selphie began, waiting for him to turn around.

When he did, and stared at her steadily with those deep green eyes she could never fathom, she was afraid she wouldn't be able to get the words out.

…_but I have to know…_

"Would you really have asked me?" Her voice came out, stronger than she thought they would have done.

Irvine stood there for a moment, his eyes betraying nothing. When suddenly, he smiled and put his hand in his pocket.

He withdrew a small blue velvet box; it was no bigger than a child's hand.

Selphie's heart stopped beating for an instant, she had no idea what would have happened next.

Irvine still smiled, this time Selphie could see all his pain, happiness and sadness rolled into that one moment.

It was his eyes that gave her the answer.

"Would you really have said yes?"

She gave a nod, so slight that she wasn't sure if he could see.

._...thank you…_

But he nodded back, and without another word, he walked away.

The dead man walked out of Selphie's life.

_...yes Irvine…yes..._

Rinoa remembered that memory; it had been eight months now since Irvine had left, and no one had heard anything from him again.

The others were afraid of Selphie never allowing herself to move on, never allowing herself to love another person ever again.

But then Locke arrived, he had been the one to break into that shell she had placed around herself and loved her for what she was.

Now, two months after officially being named a couple, Rinoa was asking her friend if she loved him.

"Everyday, I still remember what It felt like to watch him walk out of that hospital and my life altogether." Selphie reminisced sadly, "It had taken me so long to realise that there was someone else out there and what do you know-"

"Locke arrived" Rinoa finished for her.

…_Locke...was it him?_

…_How can I not be sure...?_

"Uh Ri" Selphie faked a yawn, hoping to get her point across, "I'm suddenly feelin' real tired, is it OK if I don't come into town tonight?"

Rinoa got up from the bed, "Sure Selphie, sorry I forced you to bring back painful memories."

Selphie gave a watery smile, "Hey, it's OK Ri, I know you always try and help, and I really appreciate that. I do." She looked at Rinoa

seriously, "I don't deserve such a good friend."

"Oh hey, now, none of that nonsense." Rinoa smiled, trying to hide the blush that appeared on her cheeks, "It's me who should be grateful to you. Now get some rest. I'll come see you later."

She gave her friend a hug and quietly went out of the room.

The soothing music and dimmed lights did nothing to calm Seifer's mood, even when he was nursing his favourite beer in Balamb Town bar; sitting in his favourite booth by the window facing out to sea.

_Why don't you just admit it?_

"Admit what?" he growled, trying to hide those mental protests from his mind.

_You're attracted to her._

"Yea so what? What you gonna do 'bout it?" he slammed the beer on the table, drawing attention to himself from a few onlookers nearby.

_Maybe you should ask her out…?_

Seifer laughed to himself, not caring about the strange curious looks he was receiving, "Like I could ever compete with a ghost"

"What ghost?"

_That's not my annoying protesting mind, _Seifer told himself, turning around to face a smiling beauty with long black hair and a face like-

"Woah- Quistis?" Seifer appraised her and gave a laugh, "Man, you're looking real-"

"Don't even say it." Quistis lost her smile and sat down roughly, she leaned back and sighed. "I've had enough curious stares from total strangers and seedy comments from my own friends to then walk into a bar and get looked up by you."

"Yeah tell me bout it." Seifer looked around, the curious glances were still being thrown this way and he mentally growled at them, suddenly he whipped around to look at the reformed-Quistis, "Hey, what exactly do you mean by _me? _I've never had any insults from girls I've looked up in the past," he sniffed, pretending to be insulted as he downed his beer.

Quistis gave him a glare, "Just buy me a drink and I'll retract my comment."

Seifer shrugged his shoulders, "Fine, not in the mood for a fight anyways." He signalled to the waiter to bring another two beers over.

He was surprised to feel Quistis' curious stare on him, "What now?"

"You? Not in the mood for a fight?" she gave a little amused laugh, "Something's definitely not right."

"Yeah well, it's been a long week."

Her amused smile plastered on her face made him want to throw his bottle at her, "I guess, even though we do have another four days till the end of it. What's wrong?"

Her sudden switch from amusement to a gentle tone took Seifer by surprise, "What is this? A new way of trying to get me to talk to you?"

"I call it concern; you haven't been yourself for the past few days."

"That makes two of us then" Seifer took a swig from his beer.

To his surprise, Quistis simply sighed. It wasn't an angry or an impatient one, but a sad sigh.

_As if something wasn't right with her…?_

"Wanna talk bout it?" he wasn't really in the mood for sharing, but he knew what girls were like when upset, they always needed a shoulder.

"No, well-yes, but, not with you." Quistis took a swig from her beer.

Seifer inwardly chuckled, _always was the blunt one…_

"Well, guess that makes two of us again. Cheers." He tapped his bottle with hers, "Here's to loneliness and spending all our days and cash in the bar."

Quistis gave a smile and tapped hers, "I'll drink to that."


	5. It's always a Dream

The next few days went quietly; there was talk of a peace settlement occurring between the Galbadian government and Esther's president. Ever since the attack on Esther a year ago, there was unsettlement between the nations and the idea of a peace talk was either one of joy, or superstition.

Squall called a meeting between the SeeD captains and heads of departments at Balamb Garden to discuss the possible outcomes from this peace conference.

"The Galbadian army have attempted to infiltrate Esther's defences before, what makes you think they won't try to again during the conference?" Locke argued on one side of the table.

On the opposite side was Squall Leonheart, Quistis Trepe and a few other captains of the SeeD force. On the sides of Locke were Xu, the former Headmaster's assistant and three officials from the various departments of Garden.

"I understand your concern for the Estherian government Locke," Squall replied firmly, "but this matter cannot be resolved without the agreement and permission from Esther's President. He has explained to us previously, on numerous occasions," He added, "that this feud between Galbadia and Esther is to remain a National conflict. Balamb Garden is not a Nation. We dispatch SeeD's to fight in the battles with the permission of the troubled party."

"President Loire did make certain we understood this", Xu cut in, she then turned to Locke, "I'm afraid without the correct permission we may be hold liable for certain damages. We cannot afford to take that risk."

Locke sighed angrily, "Then we need that permission."

"It's not just the granted permission I'm concerned about," Squall swept his fingers through his hair, "The Galbadian army have long regarded the status of Garden to be restricted and-where the hell have you been Seifer!"

Everyone turned towards the door at this sudden interruption.

Seifer strolled in, cocky grin plastered on his face, "S'cuse me for interrupting this oh-so important meeting, Squall." He replied not without a hint of sarcasm, "but will the outcome of the meeting really be affected by me arriving a few minutes late? It doesn't look as if I missed anything important." He smiled lazily, knowing by Locke's heated expression, he had interrupted a growing debate.

"Y'know what, I don't think there's anything to be solved here without a five minute break. What say you Squall?" Quistis stepped in, looking prim with her black hair coiled into a modest bun.

Squall sighed, knowing she was right, "Everyone meet back in ten." He stated before picking up some papers and walking out the room.

Everyone headed out the room as Seifer walked over to Quistis, who had sat down and started taking out her bun.

"Always was the one to solve arguments instructor," he gently mocked as her hair swayed around her shoulders.

She grimaced, "I wish I could solve them with coffee" she gave a little laugh then as she poured them both a cup.

Seifer leaned back into his chair as he sipped the steaming liquid. There was silence for a few minutes as they both contemplated the peace and quiet.

"It's gonna take a while to cool down isn't it?" Quistis remarked after a while.

Seifer took another gulp, "Nah, doesn't bother me. I could drink it whether it's steaming or chilled."

Quistis looked into her coffee with surprise, "I was actually referring to the proposed peace settlement Seifer."

"Oh." Seifer looked non-committal, "Yeah, that thing."

She placed her mug on the table. "What are your feelings on the subject? Surely as an experienced soldier in combat, you must have some ideas or proposals on this debate."

"Yeah," he followed her example and placed his mug on the table, "it sucks."

Quistis sighed, "What if they decide to attack Garden? Would you just shrug your shoulders and think that sucked too? How can you be so casual about this?"

Seifer gave a bitter laugh, "You forget Instructor. A year ago I was the one who sent missiles to destroy Garden, if it wasn't for the others…" he trailed off. "I don't even know why I was allowed back, I deserved to die for what I did."

"You're a changed man, Seifer." Quistis prompted him quietly, "You were under the influence of the Sorceress."

"I was going to kill you." Seifer replied immediately, "and I would have had no qualms about it either. I would have sliced you guys up right there and then and I wouldn't have cared a bit. Don't you get it now Instructor." He leaned towards her, "I was a torturer, a murderer." His face took on a look of disdain, "I was nothing but a lap-dog. A dog that should have been shot after I threatened the President of Delling."

Quistis looked at him in the eye, "Stop beating yourself up about this, that all happened a long time ago. We all have to forgive, just like Selphie forgave Irvine when he left."

"But she's still hurt," Seifer said quietly, "She's still hurting inside. It kills me to know that."

Quistis frowned slightly, "Selphie's strong. She knows she has us, her friends to take care of her."

_Is that all I wanna be…? A friend…_

"It's all I can be." He replied quietly to himself as he drank the last of his coffee and walked out of the office. Leaving a perplexed Quistis behind.

To Selphie's dismay, neither she nor Seifer saw much of each other during the next few days, what with the pressures on debating the best plausible action on Galbadia and the Garden Festival looming, the SeeD teacher and Gun blade warrior both had their hands full of work. But it didn't mean they stopped thinking of each other, despite his futile efforts, Seifer's thoughts kept taking him back to the bubbly brunette who had innocently captured his mind and turned it into a swirling vortex of emotions whenever he thought of her.

_I have to see her._

This was all his mind was telling him throughout those days; even the distraction of the peace talks did nothing to take his mind off her.

_Never really cared much for Politics anyways, always preferred to settle arguments with a sharp, shiny gunblade._

Seifer gave a grim smile; maybe he could do something about that satisfied smile on Locke's face.

_He has an appointment with my gunblade, wouldn't want him to miss it._

Selphie was late.

Again.

Ignoring the rules of corridor behaviour, she ran past the throng of students as she hurried to her class.

Quistis Trepe had stopped her in the corridor a few minutes ago and asked her to attend a 1.30 meeting in the Headmaster's office. Unfortunately she also decided it was the time to talk about the preparations for the upcoming Garden Festival, and poor Selphie couldn't get a word in edgeways.

_Quistis sure can talk, _Selphie thought to herself as she pushed past the students, _but now she's made me late for class!_

With a final turn, Selphie swooped into the classroom and piled her work onto her desk. With a few deep breathes she smoothed down her skirt and turned to the class, "Today, we will be looking at the evolution of a Wendigo on-"she stopped.

There was no one in the room.

No there was, wait-

"Looks like it's just you and me darlin-", Irvine got up from one of the vacant desks and walked over to her slowly.

_No._

"Irvy?" Selphie squeaked, "W-why are you in my class?"

He gave a slow lazy smile, that smile which had broken her heart and left it in pieces. "This is my class honey; didn't you read your timetable?"

"T-timetable? But, this is where I teach the sixth graders. E-Every Wednesday. D-don't you remember?"

_You used to walk me to my class._

"I always kissed you outside the door" he smiled again.

_It was my favourite part of the day._

"The class used to wolf-whistle and giggle, coz they were always watching us."

"Selphie," he continued as he held her close, "You always were a dreamer,"

_A what?_

"Sephie," his nickname brought tears to her eyes, "Wake up darlin'"

…_Wake…up…?_

"Selphie wake up!"

"What!" Selphie grabbed a hold of Irvine, "Don't leave me again! Don't!"

"Selphie stop shaking me!"

"What-?" she opened her eyes, and found herself inched away from deep blue eyes.

"S-Seifer?"

"Yeah course it's me you crazy messenger girl! What the hell you doing, you gotta be in class!" Seifer was looking at her fiercely.

_Don't shout at me…_

"It was…a dream," Selphie gasped breathlessly; "it's always a dream!"

With a cry she flung herself into Seifer's arms, tears formed in her eyes as she struggled to overcome her emotions.

This time, Seifer didn't shout at her, instead he held her close, allowing her to let out the tears which were struggling to burst.

"It's OK Sephie, it was a dream."

…_My nickname…_

"H-He always used to call me that," Selphie sniffed, not meeting Seifer's gaze.

"He who-? Oh." Seifer looked away for a second, not knowing what to say, he could feel the girl shaking still.

_Dream really took it outta her._

He realised for a moment how much it still hurt her, and to his surprise a wave of fierce protectiveness washed over him.

_If I ever see that cowboy again, I'm gonna give him a piece of my mind._

Seifer noted that the list of people, who had appointments with his gun blade, was increasing.

_World's a cruel place._

He held her tighter still.


	6. The Day His Secret Almost Came Out

When Selphie had woken up to find Seifer looming over her, she had no idea how to react. The dream of Irvine had brought back so many memories stirring inside her, she had just, broken down.

And he just held her; there was no awkwardness, no cocky remarks.

Just a simple hug.

And Selphie realised, she wasn't crying because she wanted Irvine back. She was crying because she wanted to move on, she wanted to be with the one person who could make her forget all about what happened.

"Seifer," she finally said, raising her eyes to meet his.

He looked down at her face ashen with tears, the one girl who he wanted so much, the one he knew he could never have for so many reasons.

"What's up messenger girl?" he gave a slight smile and, with a determined growl, bent his head down towards hers.

"Selphie!"

The timing of that shout was so perfect it was almost as if it had been choreographed.

Both Selphie and Seifer looked up to see Quistis and Zell bustling in.

"Seph, everything OK?" Zell asked slowly, as he watched the pair.

Quistis surveyed Seifer holding Selphie in a way that was unmistakably clear. Even though the two weren't clinging on to each other for dear life, she could see the way he was protectively holding the younger girl, as if she was someone he wasn't willing to let go of.

She gave a small smile, just in time to see Seifer jumping up and Selphie smoothing her hair.

"Selphie doesn't feel too well Instructor," he said without a moment's hesitation, "I think she had better be relieved for today."

Quistis gave a curt nod, "Quite," she agreed. She turned to Zell, "Zell would you get Selphie a glass of water, and Seifer," she added before turning round, "Could you come with me."

As Zell went out the room, Selphie took a glance at Seifer; she felt his eyes burning into hers for a moment before he nodded slightly and followed Quistis out the room.

"What the hell are you doing?"

Quistis was pacing furiously around the headmaster's room, her new dark locks swaying around her shoulders.

Seifer leaning against a wall, arms crossed defensively across his chest, his expression was one of reverence with the slightest hint of amusement.

"Instructor," Seifer quietly said, "I must say, I'm offended by your accusation, what exactly are you accusing me of?"

But Quistis was in no mood for games, "Seifer, I know what you're doing, but if you think seducing one of the SeeD teachers will put you in

the running for a SeeD position then you-"

Seifer jumped away from the wall and glared furiously at the SeeD, "Don't you dare accuse me of treachery Quistis; you simply came into an innocent situation and accused me of doing the thing I'm exactly known for!"

He stopped and saw Quistis' grim face, "OK, that didn't exactly come out the way I meant," he stated hurriedly.

She gave another angry sigh, "I cannot believe the audacity of you Seifer, even when you were training to become a SeeD you never-"

"Let's not bring the past into this." Seifer muttered, "had about enough of that." He slumped into a chair and put his feet up on the table, "You don't believe me? Fine. But I'm not the one here committing deceit. Just thought you should know that."

"I'm intrigued," Quistis seemed to have cooled down and approached the table, "Just who is the deceitful person here? Certainly not me or Selphie, I didn't think she was exactly encouraging those sorts of, antics." She sighed, "Do you have feelings for her?"

_Yes._

"I thought so," Quistis remarked, as he looked up in alarm, "Call it women's intuition," she smiled, "I always take a silent answer as a guilty one."

Seifer said nothing, "So what now," he mused, "You gonna go all woman on me and go tell-"

"Locke!"

There were shouts outside the door and Locke stormed in, red faced and pissed.

_Definitely pissed._

"Great," Seifer drawled, waving his hand, "Please come in, we were talking about nothing important."

"What is this I heard?" Locke breathed heavily, looking directly at Seifer, then Quistis, "Wanna explain Instructor?"

_How the hell did he find out?_

Seifer rolled his eyes, "Come on, it's not like we did anything."

Locke simply stood there, "Instructor, why didn't you tell me?"

Quistis looked stunned, "Tell you what? I'm afraid I found out just a minute ago."

"You!" Locke pointed a finger at Seifer, "Don't you ever think?"

"If he did, we would never be dragged into his messes," Quistis rolled her own eyes.

Seifer sighed and crossed his arms, "What exactly did you hear Locke?"

But before anyone said anything else, Squall ran into the room, breathing heavily, "I just found out," he said, trying to get his breath back, "I was trying to find you guys."

"Great, just bloody fantastic," Seifer threw up his arms, "Is there anyone who doesn't know?"

"The Esthern Government just declared it a state of emergency," Squall ignored Seifer, "They fear the attack will be made before their conference is over."

"All I did was-What?" Seifer turned quickly, "Esther? Attack?"

Quistis' face filled with alarm, "What did President Loire say?" she asked hurriedly, "Does he need SeeD's to be dispatched?"

Squall nodded, "Immediately."

He turned to Locke, "I was about to tell you before you rushed out of the room, Seifer's antics towards Galbadia a year ago was not filed on reports which survived the last attack. He had nothing to do with this."

"Too bloody right," Seifer replied, "Wait, _That's _why you were pissed with me?" he looked at Locke in surprise, "'Coz you thought me threatening the Delling President was the cause for all this?"

Locke said nothing, but the redness of his face remained.

This time, Seifer was pissed, and was about to step up to the heated battle when he threw his arms down and snorted, "Sod it. Ain't my problem," and with that he just walked out the room.

The Galbadian Government had declared war on Esther, President Loire confirmed Esther to be in a state of emergency and required the

help of Balamb's SeeD.

Squall's hands were full with organising the troops. In total there were to be seven troops moving out to help Esther's lines.

"So much for the peace talks," grumbled Zell as him and Quistis were distributing lists to the students.

Quistis smiled, "You were complaining we didn't get enough excitement around here, don't start complaining because you have to get off your lazy butt."

Seifer walked up to the two, "Anyone seen Rinoa?" he asked quickly, "Squall's looking for her."

"Seifer, the messenger boy," Zell's tone was slightly mocking, "never figured you to be the following-orders type, or 'listening-to-orders' type either, you must have gone down in the ranks."

Seifer gave him a grim smile, "Zell. Leonheart asked you to report into him in 5 minutes ago, I'd get a move on if I were you."

Zell's face fell, "But you only just told me!"

Seifer sniggered, "Yeah, well what can I say? I dawdled, get your ass movin' chicken-wuss." He laughed nastily as Zell bounded off towards the office.

Quistis sighed. "Seifer, I never understood your compassion to making Zell's life uncomfortable. Ever since you were kids, you were always picking on him. He always cried because of you and it was always me who had to comfort him because Squall always pushed him away."

Seifer shrugged, "Good thing too, imagine what the chicken-wuss could have grown up to be like if Mr. Perfect went all cuddly on him. Wouldn't get a moment's peace." He shuddered, as though the thought haunted him.

Quistis sighed again and grabbed her books, "All I'm saying is you should lay off him for a while. There's enough conflict occurring outside

the Garden already and I'd appreciate it if we concentrated on that, rather than battling against our friends." She was about to leave the room when a small smile appeared on her features, "I hope you're planning to help us win this battle against Galbadia, Seifer." She asked almost innocently, "I'd hate for Locke to have to slaughter you when he finds out you're after his girl."

Seifer looked up, he gave a little smirk, "My dear Instructor, am I correct in believing that you are induced to blackmailing me into fighting this war for you, in exchange for your secrecy on my, let's say, _desire_ for a taken woman?"

Quistis reciprocated the smirk, "Maybe a little." With a final glance in his direction, she waltzed out; confident she had won his attention.

Seifer's smirk remained on his face even after she left the room, "Very good Instructor," he said softly, "Very good."


	7. The Realisation of Seifer

_A/N: Hi! I'm back from a long spell away, and I have edited a couple of bits and taken away a couple of things I didn't like so much, I know there will be some time before I can update as very busy but I know I can't leave this story unfinished..._

_So I'd like to introduce you to a new chapter in my SelphiexSeifer 'Can I be your Hero' and please let me know if there's anything you like or didn't like about it, constructive criticism is always helpful!_

_Discalimer: I don't own Final Fantasy, if I did I would be rich and married to Seifer because I would have the money and power to do so muwahaha ahem, so yes Square [soft/enix owns all, Please read and tell me what you think!_

* * *

Chapter 7 - The Realisation of Seifer

* * *

Three days had passed since Garden heard the disturbing news concerning the advancing Galbadian troops. Squall Leonheart had dispatched SeeD's throughout the city of Esther and had set troops along the Eastern front in the emergency of such an attack. Exactly three minutes after Squall had called for a meeting, all the intended participants were settled in the boardroom; Seifer included. 

"Ah, Seifer, it seems to be you are joining our fight," Quistis smiled sweetly, "whatever could be strong enough to change your mind?"

Seifer ignored the sweet but underlying smug tone to her voice, "My dear Instructor-" he began, "I would only be too pleased to throw in the towel & drown myself in beer, however, my sense of honor forbids me to attempt anything but the honorable thing to do."

"I see you have a sense of honour then," growled Locke, "I'd like to know where you keep it,"

"OK that's enough!" Squall Leonheart looked grim as he looked around the table, "I'm not sure where you keep thinking this is all a big joke and will settle down as soon as we raise our weapons, but it's not. This a serious matter of the Code-Red,, and I will not have any soldier executing jokes on my time, do you understand me?"

Seifer realized he was being stared at by the leader, and he slightly bowed his head in respect, "Of course 'O wonderful one-" he began, but was cut short by the look on Xu's face.

_Why is that damn woman so friggin' scary?_ he said to himself, _just one look from her and the Galbadian troops would flee._

He gave a slight grin and nodded towards Squall, "Please continue," he said hoarsely.

Squall wasted no time in doing exactly that, "Thirty minutes ago we received a call from the Estherian Government signaling they have a first sighting of an unidentified group moving slowly near the border."

"The Galbadian troops!" said one of the SeeD group leaders immediately, "They're moving in-"

"Wait," ordered Squall, "The government isn't sure of what it is, it could be anything, a group of chocobos', small monsters-"

"All the more reason to be suspicious, wouldn't you say Squall?" interrupted a voice, "It might be the Galbadian troops…wearing chocobo suits-"

A giggle came from on the girls.

Squall frowned, "Yes thank you for that Seifer; we will be conducting an investigation. In fact, I have just thought of a new plan."

Selphie sighed as she glanced through her papers in front of her, it seemed the further she delved into the folder-with-no-end the bigger her headache became. Rubbing her head with frustration she threw the folder on to the desk, it landed with a slam which ended up throwing half its contents onto the library floor.

"Damn it," she uttered, kneeling down to retrieve the papers, she picked them up higgledy-piggledy only to discover the lack of page numbers on each sheet.

"One day I'm gonna teach this Garden how to insert page numbers onto these sheets, come on it's not exactly rocket science," she cursed again as endless white sheets kept slipping out her grasp, in a last frustrated attempt she threw an armful of papers back on the desk and flung her head down to meet the solid wood.

"That looked painful," remarked a voice,

Selphie grunted, not bothering to look up to see who dared try and test her patience today.

"Want a hand?"

Another mumble came from the mountain of paper.

She felt someone bend down and pick up some sheets and the empty folder, and then gently ease her fist open to let some screwed up sheets fall.

"Sephie darlin', look up."

"No," she muffily replied, already knowing who that soft voice belonged to.

"Sephie look at me darlin',"

Reluctantly, Selphie lifted her head to meet Irvine's gaze.

"Feel better hon,?" he smiled into her eyes.

"No," she grumbled, "I gots' too much stuff here."

He smiled again, and she couldn't help but let his warmth surround her, "You sure do, darlin', we better get a move on."

Selphie pouted a little, "I don't wanna Irvine, I can't do this by myself-"

"You're not by yourself Selphie, you got your friends. You know they'll always be there to help you."

She looked deep into his eyes, "Why can't I let you go? Why are you always in my mind? I don't want you in there anymore. I wanna dream of other things!"

"Like whom?" he gave that cocky grin he usually reserved for women he liked.

Selphie was angry now, "No one! I…I don't need you to feel sorry for me. You left me, and now…now I don't know what to do anymore." She could feel that stray tear fall down her cheek, threatening to gently drop onto her blouse.

Irvine wiped it away and then held her face between his hands, "I didn't come here to confuse you darlin'" he said softly, "I want you to be happy, and I know you can be. Like you were last year, like you were before I left, like you are…when you're with him."

Selphie sniffed, "him…who?"

Irvine smiled again, "Just trust your heart darlin', you gotta listen to it or you're never gonna be able to be happy again. Just trust me."

Selphie moved her face away, "Trust you? How do you expect me to do that? You're not even real, you're a spirit, or- or just a trick my minds playing on me, you don't know-"

"Just listen Selphie, there are bad people coming, bad things will happen if you do not stop it. You have to protect your people, even if that means opening your heart again. You can do this-" he gently toyed with a strand of her hair, "but first you gotta-"

"Wake up, yeah I know," she replied numbly.

Irvine stood up and straightened his hat, "Get up and listen to what he has to say darlin'" he winked, and with a flash, he was gone.

Selphie groggily awoke with a pain in her neck and back, lifting her head gently from the paper. She slowly opened her eyes and found she was looking directly at a blond tanned arrogant face.

"You gonna get up messenger girl?"

"Oh great," she muttered, "just what I need,"

Seifer folded his arms and sniggered, "You gonna remove that flattering piece of compressed tree from your face? Or you want me to do it for you-"

Before Selphie could protest, he had grasped the piece of the paper in question and gently removed it from her cheek, for a second, she could see something in his eyes soften as he softly traced his fingers over her cheek, she could feel a warm shiver work its way through her body.

_I gotta stop this_ was all she could think.

"Seifer-" she warned,

"What's up messenger girl?" Seifer uttered so softly Selphie wasn't even sure if he said anything at all, all that was running through her brain now was a thick cloud of comfort, it turned her bones into liquid and she found she was slightly breathless.

_Why does this keep happening every time I'm close to him? It's like a magnetic pull…All I can feel is…his lips…caressing mine…_

Which was exactly what he was doing, slowly he lowered his mouth to hers and they let themselves go in their warm embrace.

Seifer could hear his heart contracting, as fast and hard as it was when he was training, only this time it was from kissing Selphie. All he wanted to do was to be in this girl's arms forever, not that he could admit it, especially not to her. It was a painful secret he would have to keep close to his heart. He could no longer deny he had fallen head over heels with her, deeply, painfully & oh so true. He had fallen hard for this girl and there was nothing he could do about it.

And yet, there was no place in the future for this love to work. He knew she was taken, he knew he didn't deserve her. Especially after all the terrible things he had done, it was only a year ago that he had tried to kill her, and everyone he knew and cared for now.

_I wish I didn't feel this way. I wish I could just stay away from her._

_But I can't._

_Dammit, I'm in love with a SeeD._

_You're in trouble Seifer Almassy_, he told himself, _a big canyonful load of trouble_.

* * *

The truth was, many people didn't realize how hard it been for Seifer over the past year. 

After the destruction of Sorceress Ultimecia and her empire, Time had resumed back to its normal state. Both Edea and Rinoa had been released from Ultimecia's hold on them, being sorceresses as they were. The demise of the evil future-based sorceress and her evil collaborator Sorceress Adel had led to a peace revolution between Galbadia and the Esther. The two countries thanked the brave young group of SeeD's, heroically led by Squall Leonhart, who saved the day and protected the people from the onslaught of those powerful Sorceresses.

It seemed everybody came out on top. The Galbadians were immediately set on restoring Galbadia Garden which had suffered numerous bruises from the battle between itself and Balamb.

Headmaster Cid handed complete leadership of Balamb over to Squall, and with that he retired along with his wife Edea at their home at the orphanage.

Laguna Loire remained president of Esther along with his partners Kiros & Ward; they set about improving Esther's defenses and environment to protect the people of the magnificent metropolis. However, the President promised not to hide the city from the outside world again, he wanted to improve the communication between other countries and Esther. Ellone helped him in his research often, and loved to spend time with her 'Uncle Laguna' just as they had used to.

Balamb Garden became a mobile SeeD base of which Squall decided to take advantage of the Garden's skill. He set about providing help for anybody who needed the aid of SeeD, and flew directly to the destinations in question. He donated the Ragnarok ship to Esther for research whenever they needed it, however in times when fast travel was required; he used the magnificent ship as means.

It seemed everybody had something to concentrate on to help get on with their lives.

All except Seifer.

Seifer had been the lap-dog of Sorceress Ultimecia during the time she had control of Edea. He assisted in sending missiles to both Trabia and Balamb Garden. He had attempted to figure out the meaning of SeeD by torturing Squall, and then tried to destroy the Garden again.

Each time a sorceress fell, he was moved onto the next one, until the final demise of the leader.

After that, he was picked up by his only two friends in existence, Raijun & Fujin. Both of whom had been his posse back when they attended Balamb Garden. Both Raijun & Fujin had been unwittingly seduced by the evil sorceress through Galbadia. They joined the Galbadians in their fight against the SeeD and had even battled Squall and the others. It all came to a finale when they were made to kidnap Ellone, but were persuaded to come to their senses by Squall and the other SeeD's. They joined the good fight again, but not before attempting to convince Seifer to do the same. Consumed by greed & evil, Seifer declined and left his old friends to follow Ultimecia to do her bidding.

Seifer couldn't believe his friends came to his aid after the final battle. He thought they would have abandoned them just like he had done to them not long before.

After Ultimecia was destroyed, it was as if a light came on inside Seifer. He realized what he had done, and there was no way he would ever be allowed to live life normally if he was found. So he and his two best friends lived the quiet life for a while, occasionally watching Balamb Garden fly over them.

* * *

_A/N: I know it seemed it was just a recap of the FFVIII story but I wanted to show you how Seifer had changed from the result of his actions, so sorry for the filler, it's been a while since I dedicated every waking hour to my stories..._


	8. I'm With You & Him Back To The Past

_A/N...I am really sorry about the updates being so sparse, I only want to continue if I can give the story a good enough plot, otherwise it will be wasted! This chapter is sort of like a recap of the story except through Seifer's eyes, it will return to the main story, and it will be finished! Be patient my dear readers have faith and read, please be honest, readers need good critiscm to improve! domo _

* * *

Chapter 8 - I'm With You & Him Back To The Past

* * *

After too many days of watching Balamb Garden fly over their heads, Seifer felt a longing inside him he hadn't felt in a long time.

He wanted to go see his old friends again, even if for a second. Just to see how they were doing. Through Raijun & Fujin he found out that one night the old SeeD gang were to attend a ball at the Galbadia Hotel in Delling. He got dressed up and headed to the vibrant night city.

Making sure he wouldn't be recognized, he had on a dark suit and a hat to cover his hair. He entered the hotel and followed the winding stairs down into the main ballroom. The music and excitement of the people engulfed him and stirred his senses.

Relaxing, he headed to the bar and bought a drink. He didn't see his friends until a few drinks later. He spotted Squall and Rinoa sitting on stools round a table, and his heart twisted at the sight of them.

He thought he would have felt a swirl of jealously at seeing them together, but instead, oddly he just felt…happy for them.

The next one he saw was Zell munching a hot-dog and chatting up a nice-looking girl who strangely enough seemed to like this funny looking punk with a bun sticking out of his mouth.

_Whatever turns you on honey, _he smiled to himself.

Quistis came strolling by, so close he could smell her perfume, and he turned away so she wouldn't see his face. It was too risky too be exposed here. Still, she looked happy as she chatted with a nerdy looking guy in a tux.

_No doubt discussing the possible outcomes of mixing certain elementary values with different species of monster,_ he smiled to himself as she laughed and adjusted her glasses, _Ah my dear Instructor, she'll never change._

Strangely enough he had yet to see of Selphie or that annoying cowboy from Galbadia.

_They're probably smooching in some corner; they seemed pretty sweet on each other last year, _he sighed to himself and helped himself to another drink, _that's funny, how'd I remember that 'bout the messenger girl?_

Oh well, it's not like he cared, it was really only Squall he wanted to see, see how the perfect hero was doing with his girl, and being leader 'n all.

Seifer signaled to the barman for another drink and was about to turn away when he spotted a small figure a few stools away from him.

He recognized the girl as Selphie, looking rather forlorn, but obviously trying very hard not to show it.

He felt something inside him stir, something that hadn't stirred in a very long time. Looking at her face he could read that something had happened between the last time he saw her and now.

_Did something happen to the cowboy?_

Seifer knew it was too risky to expose himself here, but there was something pulling him towards her; in fact he was about a stool away from approaching her when someone beat him to it.

It was some guy asking her to dance, and before Seifer could intervene, the guy pulled her to the floor, leaving Seifer to watch them for a few minutes.

Something happened inside Seifer just then, at that particular moment he saw her face light up at someone paying attention to her, and he realized that it was something similar to protectiveness.

He wasn't sure, maybe it was just that stupid song that was playing, and by the look on the lovebird's faces over there, it was most probably Squall and Rinoa's song.

With a last sigh he downed his drink and started to head towards the stairs.

_Fun's over, _he thought to himself, _I really don't wanna intrude on their ground._

The song ended before Seifer reached the sixth step, and applause took over as somebody who Seifer recognized stepped on stage.

It was that cowboy, Irvine.

It was that cowboy Irvine kissing the pianist and encouraging the audience's cheers.

_Humph, never thought he woulda ended up on stage, _Seifer grimly thought, as he decided to join in with the audience.

But it wasn't the proposal between Irvine and the pianist that stopped Seifer walking up the stairs; it was that deafening scream that hushed the entire room which stopped him in his tracks.#

That scream belonged to Selphie.

Or to be truthful, it was more like somebody shouting out a denial.

Confused, Seifer stared at the messenger girl, not working out why she was looking so distressed, was it because she and Irvine weren't together anymore and she herself hadn't got over him?

Or was it cos-

"Selphie wait!"

Somebody shouted out as a blurred figure whizzed past him on the stairs.

It was Selphie, running.

Without knowing why, Seifer took off after her, knowing at this pace, she would have a hard time stopping. He raced up the stairs and followed her out into the reception, through the front doors and out into the cold night air. He was aware of people close behind him, also trying to reach the running figure.

_God dammit she's gonna fall down those steps, _he realized a moment too late as he tried to reach out for her, he was just an inch out of reach, and there was nothing he could do but watch helplessly as Selphie fell headfirst down the long concrete steps. He heard a sickening crack as she hit the bottom and scores of people pushing past him down to her.

The wait for the ambulance seemed to take an age whilst people attended to Selphie. Seifer tried to get close enough to hear the conversation between Irvine and her. It seemed pretty heated, and Seifer managed to make out the words 'dead' and 'you left me', but that was all he could hear as the wails of the sirens closed in.

Strangely enough, despite the proximity of Seifer from the others, nobody had recognized the light haired stranger under the dark hat. However he still felt as if he should remain behind for a little while until they had settled Selphie in at the hospital, it didn't mean he would stay away though.

His plan was to sneak in at various intervals to see her, in between her friends' visits and check-ups. Raijun and Fujin both agreed this wasn't such a good idea, but they knew their protests would fall on deaf ears; Seifer rarely listened to anybody's advice, especially when he had made up his mind.

He managed to sneak in for the first few days without anybody noticing, he would just sit there next to Selphie's bed and talk to her. At first he sat there awkwardly, not knowing what to say to a girl he had never really been nice to. However as the days passed he found that the words came naturally to him, and before he realized it, he had sat there for over three hours simply talking to the unconscious girl on the hospital bed.

It was on the fourth day his luck ran out.

He had been sitting talking to Selphie when he heard a faint noise behind him; Seifer's sharp ears picked up the sound and whipped round to find him looking at Irvine.

Neither of them could say who looked more shocked.

"Uh-" Irvine seemed to recover first, "How…How she doin'? He didn't know what else to say to the ex-Balamb student.

Seifer shrugged, "still the same, not much change.'

Irvine gave a puzzled look, "You come see her often?"

Seifer replied with a nod, "Every day."

Irvine's mouth took the shape of an 'o', "Do the others know you're here?"

Seifer shrugged carelessly again, "Not me, how bout you?"

To that, Irvine gave a humorous smile, "They'd probably kill me if they knew."

Seifer couldn't help laughing at that, "Then I guess we both got something in common."

Irvine pulled up a chair, "I'm guessing you know the reason she's in here."

Seifer looked directly at him, "Some jerk broke her heart is what I heard, he did it in front of a hundred people by proposing to another girl."

Irvine rubbed his head in tiredness, "Yeah that pretty much sums it up" he agreed softly.

Seifer shook his head and glanced at the still girl, "Look, I know it's none of my business, I ain't seen you guys since you killed Ultimecia and quite frankly I didn't care if you had survived the fight or not, but-" he paused for a second as he regarded Selphie, "but I'm telling you now, if I ever hear you hurt her again like you have, I'll kill you myself." Seifer looked Irvine straight in the eye coolly, and was please to see a flare of resentment show in the young cowboy's eyes.

"And what, you think you're in any position to judge me?" the cowboy also replied coolly, "I could kill you for trying to hurt her a while back,"

Seifer smiled evilly, he loved the feeling of adrenalin rush through him as the prospect of a battle loomed, "Bring it on cowboy,"

Literally the second the men were about to pull out their weapons, the nurse walked in for the hourly check-up and froze in surprise at the statures of the strangers, "Excuse me," she said coldly, "This is a hospital in case you hadn't noticed, would you mind taking whatever it is you're dealing with outside."

Seifer snorted, "No prob, I'm outta here anyway," and with that he swept out the room, leaving a surprised Irvine and nurse in his wake.

_Nearly there._

Seifer had almost reached the main hospital doors when he heard something that made him stop in his tracks.

"Thought it'd be a long time before I laid eyes on you"

* * *


	9. His Last Recap

_A/N Last time we left, Seifer was recapping over Selphie's fall...The story is getting back to the present now, sorry I dragged it out...I left a long time before coming back to it and I'm determined to finish the story the way I want it to. If you review, please be honest and let me know if you feel somethings missing, I love my story and its characters (squaresoft/enix owned!) and I want them to have the ending they deserve..._

_Seifer loves Selphie but knows it is a forbidden love_

_Selphie is trying to get over Irvine whilst guiltily having feelings for the blonde hotheaded soldier_

_Squall is reluctant at having Seifer at Garden_

_The war goes on..._

* * *

Chapter 9

His last quick recap

* * *

_It couldn't possibly-_

But it was.

Seifer smiled grimly,

"Oh it's so good to hear your voice Mr Wonderful Leader," he said, every nuance of his voice clear and slow as he turned round and appraised the young man in front of him.

Squall didn't smile, "What are you doing here Seifer?"

Seifer gave a little smile, "Hospital's a public place Squall," he opened his arms to add to the effect.

Squall still didn't smile, "You should know, you do like to put people in here after all." His voice was firm and emotionless as he regarded Seifer.

Before either of them could speak, a slim figure in blue came running up to them, "Squall! We have some news! The nurse said-" the person in question stopped abruptly as she noticed Seifer, "Seifer! Wh-What are you doing here?"

"Rinoa," Seifer gave a little nod in the sorceress' direction, "You look well."

Rinoa's mouth kept hovering to an 'o' shape no different to Irvine's reaction.

Squall asked Rinoa without taking his eyes off Seifer's face, "What is it Rinoa?"

Rinoa took a puzzled glance at Seifer before turning to Squall, "Um- I just came to say that Selphie's awake."

Both Squall and Seifer's eyebrows shot up, and Squall nodded. "Sure, I'll be right in."

She gave a nod and one last mystified look at Seifer before turning around and heading back in the direction she arrived in.

"I just came to see how Selphie is," Seifer explained, "I was at the Galbadian Hotel and saw her fall, I was concerned."

"You can show concern?" Squall's eyebrows shot up again in surprise, "You're a surprising person Seifer."

"I'm also a changed one," Seifer argued, "Not that you would believe me."

"I guess we can both agree on that."

"Yeah…" Seifer faltered, it was unusual for him to struggle for words around Squall, "Listen, I'm not here for forgiveness; I just came to see how the girl was. Now that she's awake, I guess I'll be going."

Squall nodded, "That would be nice."

Seifer sighed and opened his mouth to say something but thought better of it. Squall looked into his eyes and for a second Squall thought he saw a speck of genuine concern in Seifer's.

"Take care of her Squall."

And with that Seifer pushed open the doors and was gone.

* * *

Present Day...

Seifer downed the last of his beer, he was well aware that drinking was stictly prohibited when a soldier was supposed to be on duty but he didn'treally give a damn, he had been sitting, drinking and thinking for the past hour, a combination of three things he knew resulted in dangerous ground.

He still couldn't believe they invited him to come back to Garden, if he hadn't died from the shock of the initial invitation it was the fact that Squall himself had personally asked him, although he knew really who was behind it.

When Selphie had discovered Seifer had been visiting her she had been wary at first, why on earth would Seifer, ex-Sorceress's knight stroke torturer actually care about her well-being? Although his answer had been reluctant and standoff-ish, Selphie didn't believe he was as heartless as he labelled himself and when there had been riots within the Esthern territory, she had asked Squall to have him on the defense team,

"You want me to ask Seifer to come back to Garden?" Squall repeated incredulously, "Selphie, are you aware what we had to do in order to stop Seifer destroying the world and all of us in it?"

"But it wasn't him, you know that! Squall c'mon I think he deserves a break, we need his ability to help calm down the riots." If it was possible, Squall looked even more confused, "You want Seifer because you think he can….calm people?... Seifer? Really?" Though the debate went on for several hours, Squall relented, but he strictly told Selphie there was one condition, Seifer had to prove he was worthy of fighting on the good side, any veering to the side of the bad whether inadvertently or intentionally – he was out.

Now, one year later, Seifer had a home, a mission and more importantly of all, a sense of honour and money to spend, wisely of course,

"Waiter," he called out and gestured with his empty bottle, "another beer."


	10. Tricked

Chapter 10

Tricked

* * *

This was it

This was it.

War had begun.

The last emergancy meeting had been called

The final preparations were underway...

They were on the front, defending the Esthern border from potential Galbadian Attacks. Team A had been dispatched to the borders front whilst B and C were protecting the city and its government.

Seifer had been preparing Team A after Squall leisurely briefed the teams before they flew out to Esther.

Seifer had shaken his head in impatience. For somebody who always strived to get to the point as quickly as possible, Mr Leonheart sure took his sweet time in briefings.

_Proves he loved the sound of his own voice,_ Seifer sniggered.

* * *

After gearing up and meeting up with the Esthern troops, The Balamb Garden SeeD's had set up base and now only had one more thing to do.

Wait.

They waited for six hours, and by then it was well into the night.

"Where the hell are these Galbadian bad-asses then?" Seifer jeered at his nearby comrades, "Wasn't this supposed to be a high alert situation?"

So far there had been no word from the Galbadian troops; the peace conference was on hold and the political leaders were taken to safety to the town of Fisherman's Horizon near the island of Balamb.

"They should get the Galbadian leader here and give him a good butt kicking" Seifer grumbled.

Zell was getting a little sick of Seifer's sarcasm and decided to give a little of his own, "Let me guess, if you were still in charge you would never let your troops be late for a war, especially one they started" Zell rolled his eyes at the blond man, something he had always loved doing and waited for Seifer to retaliate with a personal attack.

Seifer scoffed at this apparent ridiculous remark, "Please, I wouldn't be that suicidal, If i were to lead that I wouldn't just go full on to where the troops are, I'd go straight for-" he stopped abrubtly and his grin disappeared rather a little too quickly.

Zell's heart stopped just for a second, "Seifer- Why have I got the feeling that you're about to say something pretty damn not good?"

Seifers voice grew hoarse, "Zell, get Squall on the radio NOW"

"Seifer what exactly are you saying?" Squall frowned as he turned around to face President Loire, who was currently talking to the other political leaders in one of the safe houses in Fisherman's Horizon.

* * *

Laguna was laughing at a joke being told by the Prime Minister of Delling as he gave the others some tea. He walked over to Squall to give him his when he noticed Squalls demeanour.

Squall had frozen, his face drained of colour as he listened to his radio. Laguna frowned and mouthed "What's wrong?"

Abrubtly Squall switched it off and looked at him, his face expressionless.

"The Galbadian Troops have not attacked the Esthern Front."

Laguna's puzzled frown didn't waver, "Why's that?"

Squall didn't break eye contact as he continued.

"Because they're coming here."

"Teams A to F all meet by the airships IMMEDIATLELY" Lockes voice boomed out on every single loudspeaker scattered around the city, THIS IS A HIGH ALERT OPERATION, I repeat all troops to the airships!"

Seifer and Zell obeyed the order as they led their teams toward the designated place, Zell tried to get his words out as he ran, "W-why aren't they calling troops G to K?" he panted as he tried to keep up with the gunblade master.

Seifer was grim as he ran, "Just in case, we can't leave the city defenceless"

Zell was panting as he tried to keep up, "D-Do you think they'll be OK? I mean, there can only be a few SeeD's in FH, what if-"

"Shuddap chicken-wuss, we have no time for 'what ifs' you understand?" Seifer abruptly turned around and glared at him, "When we get there, we slaughter the bad guys and save the good ones, no thinking, no crying and no time for grief you hear me?"

Zell was too shocked to argue back, instead he jutted out his chin and carried on running.

Seifer watched him silently.

_War had come._

"They're coming here?"

Rinoa looked shocked as Squall briefed the only team they brought with him; Team C. This consisted of Rinoa, Selphie, Quistis and nine other SeeD members who came to protect the leaders on the journey here.

Squall punched a fist into the wall, it hurt. It meant to. He pulled back to strike again when he felt someone grab his arm.

Laguna held on fast and looked into the young commanders eye,

"This isn't your fault Squall" he said gently.

Squall looked away, "I should have realised the troops were going to come after the leaders. After all its the leaders that are opposing the Galbadian government, not the city itself. I should have brought more forces. One team is not going to stand up to the Galbadian army."

Laguna knew how much trouble they were in, he could only pray that Locke brought the rest of the troops quick enough, otheriwise no one was going to survive this.

"Squall" he prodded gently, "I know you're blaming yourself, but this isn't your fault. Right now we need to devise an action plan otherwise it is going to be more than your fist that's bleeding." he pointedly looked at the bruised fist.

Squall looked down and quickly made up his mind; Laguna was right. _Damnit! This was no time to be feeling sorry for myself_

"Squall!" Selphie ran up to him, "Squall what should we do?"

Squall looked grim, "Get the leaders in the Ragnarok and take them out of here."

Selphie looked puzzled, "But where they gonna go?"

Squall brushed past her, "I don't care, just take them somewhere far from here."

Selphie asked just one more question, "But who's gonna fly them?"

Squall turned around looked at her.

They weren't going to make it

Quistis was flying their airship as fast as it would go, but even that didn't settle the knot in Seifer's stomach.

They were less than five minutes away and Lock and Zell were getting the troops ready to disembark.

There were how many SeeD's on Fishermans? A maximum of 14 Seifer would have guessed, with about 600 innocent villagers...against an army of no less than 2,000...

Come on Quistis, he begged silently...Come on...

* * *


	11. Alone

_A/N: OK again I have taken a long time to come back to you. But no more broken promises. I'm finishing this story after years of attempting to. This story deserves an ending and I'm going to write it. Thanks for being patient guys, I'm sorry I have let you down. This isn't the final chapter, but I promise before the end of the year you will get an ending, if everyone hasn't given up and left already lol. I don't blame you._

_I love Seifer and Selphie and I want them to have an ending...that's if they manage to find each other in time...  
_

_Thankyou "-"  
_

Chapter 11 - _Alone_

Oh Hyne…

It was exactly as he expected, and yet the shock that had taken hold of his body was something he couldn't have prepared himself for.

He had seen some sights back when he was playing on the side for evil, and even before that but still-

They had been too late.

The dawn had come, and with it, the horror of the nights war. Bodies of villagers and SeeD's were scattered on the ruins of the fishing town. The Galbadian army had decimated all those who stood in their way, even noticing the bodies of Galbadian soldiers did not console him. But this was not the time to grieve.

Swallowing back his emotions, the SeeD who never was turned around and went in search of his comrades.

Squall looked around at the sight that lay before them. It was quiet. Perhaps a little too quiet...

"Commander!" He turned around and spotted Locke striding towards him, "Sir, we have accounted for the most of our troops, it seems quite a few Galbadian soldiers were also casualties but..." he faltered and Squall knew what he was thinking. "But it doesn't help, I know Locke."

Locke straightened up, "What's our move sir?" Squall turned away and spotted his friends moving amongst the rubble, looking for survivors but finding none. "We must take our...comrades back home and give them the proper burials required. After that we must get in touch with the leaders and plan our next move."

He saw Rinoa coming towards him, but he couldn't even manage a smile."How you doing?" she asked.

Saying nothing, Squall shook his head and went to turn away. "Squall-" He felt pressure on his back and the scent of her filled his senses. He blocked tears from escaping and let her hold him. Silently they mourned for their fallen troops.

Zell kicked at a rock and cursed when pain rushed throughhim. "Damn those Galbadian scum! Why they gotta destroy everything they see?" Angry he kicked another stone and cursed again. He felt a presence from behind and fell instantly into his defensive stance.

"Woah easy chicken-wuss, just me." Seifer held up his hands in defence and looked at the angry young SeeD. "They destroyed everything..." Zell's anger was replaced by a look of defeat and pain, he gestured his arms towards the area, "They just killed 'em all and left!"

"Obviously knew the leaders had gone" Seifer responded quietly. "So they got outta here 'fore we could come kick ass!" Zell punched his hands together and stomped the floor, hard.

First there was a tiny vibration from the force. But then another came. And another. Seifer noticed a puddle nearby, its calm surface disturbed by ripples, and was responding to a rythum that was seeming louder,and nearer. Seifer looked at Zell. Zell threw his hands up in a gesture and before either one of them could speak a great force shuddered through the ground and hurled them to their feet. Seifer quickly got to his feet and heard shouts coming from just over the hill, and then...

Galbadian Soldiers, a huge army of them racing towards the small group so fast it made Seifer's head spin.

"They were expecting us!" Zell yelled as he ran towards his first foe. Seifer grit his teeth and unsheathed his gunblade.

_Bring it on_

A roar from a nearby fiend startled Quistis, "They brought claws" she shouted back and equipped her GF just as a Galbadian soldier ran toward war cries and monster roars filled the smokey air and within a few seconds the two sides had crashed into each other, leaving dirt and corpses in their war had begun.

Fouteen hours later, the hope of victory for the young SeeD's seemed nothing but crushed as their troops were diminishing. Locke knew it was time to pull back; there was nothing they could do had been no sign of the leaders, he didn't know whether this was a good sign or not, but Locke had to reamin sharp as he struggled to keep his head ontop of saw Commander Leonheart a few steps away and whistled to him turned and noticed the other commander, and nodded grimly when he saw his face.

Time to go.

"All troops pull back! Back to the airships immediately!" they both yelled as they attempted to grab every SeeD they could find and pull them up with strained his eyes through the cloud of smoke that hung visibly in the air, he noticed Seifer and Zell a few yards away giving all they got in an attempt to cut down the numbers of Galbadian soldiers, and he whistled as loud as he could to grab their attention.

Seifer had finished with this one; there was no way he would be getting back up, Seifer gave a grim smile as he turned to face three more Galbadians in his was getting tiring. A loud whistle pierced the air and Seifer cautiously moved his head, he could just about make out the shape of his commander waving his arms, signalling to the airship."Oi Chicken-wuss!" Seifer yelled over to Zell without taking his eyes off Squall, "Time to go!"

But Zell had his own problems.

1...2...3...4...5...6

6 Soldiers - 1 SeeD

_I'm in trouble._

Yelling his war cry, Zell jumped on top of one as he let out a right hook on the nearest, quickly he doubled back and slammed his right foot into the jaw of the poured through his veins and he gave a smile; three down, three to g-

_SMACK..._

The fourth foe had crept up on him and knocked him out cold with the butt of his sword.

Seifer had had enough.

Gripping his gunblade tightly he ran up to the attacker and proceeded to give him a taste of his own weapon.

Squall and Locke had managed to retrieve most of the SeeD's, he noticed Quistis powering up the airship ready to go.

_Where the hell are Seifer and Zell?_

Getting increasingly worried now, Squall ran down the ramp, fighting off any soldiers attempting to board.

And that's when he noticed them. Zell was still on the ground and Seifer knew he had sweat pouring down his back as he attempted to defend his fallen comrade. Sweat was pouring down his back, or at least he hoped it was sweat.

"Damn you Galbadian scum," he spat as three more rushed him, "Why you always gotta pick a fight with kids?"He knew he was hideously outnumbered but he didn't care, all he cared about was cutting through and wiping them out, one by one.

Or Heck all at once he wasn't fussed.

Before he knew it he felt a cold streak of something...fear? clutch at his heart as he remembered something.

_Where's Selphie?_

His focus gone, that was the last thought running through Seifer's mind as he felt a heavy object slam into his head, and then all he felt was darkness.

- - - - - - - -

_"Seifer!"_

_What..._

"Seifer!"

_Go away..._

Somewhere in his unconsciousness, Seifer reluctantly felt himself stirring, and he tried to fight it. All he wanted to do was to sleep, plus he knew that when he woke up, He'd feel the pain he knew his body was in. His eyes opened despite his best efforts, and the bright light hurt.

_Ouch_

There's that pain I knew was coming.

Groaning, he moved his arm in front of his eyes to block out that evil sunlight.

"How you feeling?" the voice sounded concerned and he warily moved his arm to squint up at the person by his bedside. Quistis had her arms folded and was looking at a clipboard, "Your stats are normal, but you took quite a beating Seifer, you got lucky."

Seifer groaned again and tried to sit up, "Tell that to those damn Galdbadian jackasses." A little smile appeared on the ex-instructors face, "Now this situation seems familiar, it seems only yesterday it was Squall lying bleeding in the infirmary." Seifer glared at her but that even that made his head hurt, until a thought struck him which subconciously brought his hand to his bandaged head.

"What happened? Where is everyone? Hope I kicked some ass before they done me in." Quistis stopped smiling and put the chart back on the table, "I'll go get some meds and be right back, is there anything I can get for you?"

"Yeah," he looked at her squarely, "I'd kill for a beer."

She was quick in returning with his meds and to his suprise...a beer.

"Somethin' must be wrong for you to bring booze in here," Seifer joked as he held out his hand for the bottle.

Quistis held it back and held out the meds, she waited as he washed the pills down with a glass of water.

"So Instructor you wanna tell me what's goin' on? Cos with my headache I sure as hell ain't too clear on the details" he said looking her straight in the removed her glasses and pinched the bridge of her nose, sighing she put them back on and looked directly down at him.

"Basically the mission was a failure, we lost troops, almost got ourselves killed in the process and we still have yet to figure out where the Galbadians are currently hiding if we have any hope of finding..." she broke off and stared at the floor.

Seifer's heart stopped, "Selphie?"

Quistis looked up and frowned, "Well I was going to say the world leaders, but yes, I believe Selphie may be held captive with them.

"Seifer growled and sat up quickly, ouch head, "Dammit whaddya mean 'you believe so'? I don't believe this-" He shot to his feet, clenching his teeth at the wave of dizzyness and nausea that overcame him.

"Seifer wait!" Quistis shouted behind him, but he was already halfway out the door. It took a leap and a firm grip on his arm to spin him around to face her, "If you go out there by yourself, you will Die. They will kill you do you understand me?"

Seifer glared at her, "I'm not sittin' around doing nothing. Don't mistake me Instructor, I'm not like that poncy Commander Leonheart, sittin around makin plans ain't my scene. I'm going out there-" he shook her hand off and started to walk away, "-and there's nothin you can do to stop me."

"You won't win."

Frustrated he turned around and narrowed his eyes, "Oh yeah? And why's that? You forget Instructor" he sneered, "I killed many in my time, I took down a Garden and sent in an army to destroy my own home. A few spotty Galbadians aren't gonna stop me, I'm Seifer remember?"

Quistis stared at him, "No you're not."

Seifer was momentarily thrown, "What you say?"

Quistis smiled without a trace of humour, "You forget Seifer, I know you. You're right, a few years ago you were someone not to be messed with, people were scared of you. You were vicious, a ruthless man with nothing to lose. You could take on the world with your gunblade and laugh your way through it. But now..." she trailed off and shrugged as if no more words were needed.

Seifer growled, "You saying I lost my touch? Instructor, believe me I may be slightly less ruthless than before, but you don't know how close you are to letting this bloodthirsty animal out."

Quistis shook her head sadly, "I'm nowhere near him".

"You saying you want me to let him out? I do that and I'm outta Garden again, this time I got things to lose I know that now. I got a home, a second chance-"

"-and someone you love" Quistis finished.

He stared at her and flung his hands up in anger, "Damn you instructor, you're asking me to be the person who once tried to kill you, you want me to get kicked out again? If I do that there's no going back, you hear me?" His anger took hold of him and he grabbed her, pushing her against the wall, "What reason could you have for wanting me to go back?"

She stared at him, unblinking, not moving, not resisting, "Because that's the only way we are going to win this war."

- - - - - - - -

_My head…it hurts…_

The cell was pitch black, the only accompanying sound were rats scuttling beneath the floor and every few seconds a drop of water splashing gently outside.

She moved very gently, she felt a cold clunk of metal and a slight resistance against her freezing hands.

_Chains…_

It smelt of must and damp, the air was cold and her body felt numb against the unforgiving stone floor. Even if she had the energy to cry, the tears would be frozen on her cheeks. She had never felt so alone, so close to giving up, every part of her body hurt.

Suddenly through the silence came a piercing scream, it was a male scream, somehow that made it even more appalling to hear, she tried to cover her ears but her hands were chained up high. She shut her eyes tight and tried to block out the sound, the sound of someone being tortured was new to her, but with every nuance she knew she never wanted to hear anything like that again for as long as she lived.

For the first time she realised her death might be a lot closer than she thought.

_That's what they're gonna do to me…_

She cried.

- - - - - - - - -


	12. A Taste of Power

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Chapter 12

A Taste of Power

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"You are joking."

Squall had his arms folded and stared in disbelief at Seifer, "If this is a joke, I'm still waiting to hear the funny side."

There was silence in the conference room in Balamb Garden, all eyes were on the two men, their eye contact remained squarely on each other.

Seifer narrowed his eyes and leaned forward so he was leaning menacingly over the sitting Squall. "The only funny thing they ever done round here was put you in charge. I'm doing this with or without your help _Commander_" he sneered, he stood up and grinned at the smiling Quistis, "Instructor Trepe here thinks it could work."

Locke stared at her, "You're not seriously agreeing with him are you? Don't forget his last plan almost got everyone in this Garden killed."

Seifer was at Locke's throat with his gun blade before the other man could even blink, "You have a pretty good memory for a jackass" the blonde smiled humourlessly, "And if I were you, I'd be pretty nice to me cos I haven't killed in a while and I'm getting a serious case of itchy trigger fingers." Locke's eyes widened.

Squall frowned, "You serious about this plan? You do realise the enormity of risk in carrying this out. If you fail-

"I won't."

Squall stood up, "What makes you so sure Seifer?"

"Because I'm Seifer Almassy" Seifer grinned, "That's why. No more waiting, that's what the good guys do."

"But uh, aren't we the good guys?" a nervous Nida piped up from the background.

Seifer turned around and smirked, "Not today."

* * *

"This one's next, get her out."

Somewhere from the haze, she heard voices enter her cell. Dim light filled the room and her eyes burned as they adjusted from days of darkness. She tried to remain still and pretend she was unconscious but she couldn't help emit a cry when one slapped her round the face.

"I won't repeat myself, Get. Up."

Whimpering she nodded and struggled to her feet. She wasn't chained to the wall, instead her hands were in shackles as were her feet. Her feet were bare and sore and it was all she could do to stand upright. Terrified they were going to beat her again, she allowed herself to be lead out of the room.

Next thing she knew she was lifted off the floor and strapped into a device that was a few feet up the wall. She was held upright and could dimly see figures of soldiers standing below as her eyes struggled to adjust.

"I wouldn't even try to resist" One said as she weakly struggled against the tight straps. "Even now as we speak the device is active so I wouldn't try anything."

_Please__…what do you want with me…_she tried to speak but her throat was dry and she realised she was parched of thirst

"As a protector, a _guardian_ of the world leaders you must know of their whereabouts, therefore I will ask one question and you will answer me. Where are they?"

_You mean they're not here…?_

Questions flooded her mind, and for an instant she was filled with confusion. How did they escape whereas she was held a captive?

"I…I don't understa-"

"You must know where they escaped to after the crash! Now answer me!"

_Crash…?_

Suddenly it all came flooding back. She was piloting the Ragnarok with the leaders as passengers, but then-

Her head swam and she forced herself to focus, that's right there was a crash. The Galbadians shot them down, they crash landed in the forest near Trabia. Fortunately the oil tanks didn't rupture so there was no explosion but…

_Did they leave me behind…?_

"So you refuse to answer?"

"No…no…I-"

Pain.

Everywhere all she felt now was instant pain.

It was like being in the middle of an electric storm, her nerve endings were screaming as electricity tore through her body.

Somewhere she heard someone scream, a girl.

_Me._

_Oh Hyne…Please Help…_

_Seifer…_

_I don't want to die…I need to tell you…_

_I love-_

She blacked out.

x-x-x-x-x-x-x

Next thing she knew, she was floating.

A dark sea of nothing swirled around her floating form…she felt as if she weighed nothing. As light as a feather….as air itself…

She saw- No. She _felt_ her memories swim past her, filling her mind and then slipping away through her fingers before she had time to process them…

"_Seifer! Where were you last night?" Selphie put her hands on her hips as she stood outside his bedroom door. "Why didn't you come out with the gang?"_

_Seifer groaned and sat up, giving the person outside his door evil looks. "Because little messenger, I am not part of your dumbass gang, not do I want any part of it thank you. Now run along like a good little girl and leave me alone"_

_Selphie gave a big sigh and before he knew it, she had barged open his door and stood there, like an annoying goddess. Eyes sparkling, hair glowing and her expression were a mixture of questions and anger, well, as angry as a little always-happy brunette could be._

_Seifer sat up and gave her a look. _

"_Don't you ever do as you're told? Thought you were just supposed to be annoying. Not aggravating and stubborn." He sighed…_

She felt more memories pressing into her mind….forming a protective wave around her…forcing her to open her soul….and remember…

_Seifer got up from his bed and before she could move away he grabbed her, "Don't ever walk away from me like that." He growled and pressed his lips against hers._

_Their kiss was sweet and passionate, to his surprise and pleasure, she responded to him and pressed herself against him as he held her even closer…_

That kiss…it connected them far deeper than she ever thought possible…but that wasn't why she was being forced to remember…

_Why did you kiss me?_

He said it was…I can't remember…I need to…

"_I kissed you because I wanted you to know what it's like to feel mixed up emotions. To feel the pressure of having to choose which path you're gonna take in life. If you don't have stress and pressure mixed in your blood before battles, you're never gonna get past the first stage."_

_Selphie looked at him incredulously, "You kissed me because you wanted to see if I could handle mixed emotions and feelings?"_

_He gave a slight nod, "Everybody's got inner demons to cope with messenger girl, you just gotta learn how to fight 'em and when to fight 'em."_

_You gotta learn how and when to fight…_

_He…told me to keep fighting…no matter what happened…to never give up_

Her thoughts and memories suddenly connected together like sparks…_I can't die! I won't! I'll fight…I'll fight to the end…_

Suddenly the sea around her started to form an image…it become more solid and she forced her mind to focus…to find a way out of this place she was in…and as the ground came rushing up to meet her somewhere inside her she felt a spark of…life.

_Funny what you realise when you think you're gonna die…_

_-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-_

This time when Selphie awoke, she was instantly alert. Her mind forced itself through the initial grogginess and she blinked twice in surprise. She was still strapped to the electrocution device but the room was empty.

She listened for any movement outside the door, but heard none.

_Now's my chance…If I can just free myself from these constraints-_

_No!_

Before she could even attempt an escape, she heard rushing footsteps outside, but whoever it was didn't enter. Instead another pair of footsteps joined them and raised voices started speaking. Loud enough that Selphie could hear.

But what she heard next made her blood run cold. She wished to Hyne she never heard it.

"_You heard?"_

"_Yeah, you think it's true?"_

"_It's confirmed, Seifer's back in the game. He's just arrived claiming his place as rightful leader or something."_

"_Think we can trust him?"_

"_Who knows, but there's a meeting scheduled now in the hall to discuss it."_

"_He gonna be there?"_

"_How the hell do I know? Do I look like an answer machine? Let's just go."_

"_Wait what about the prisoner?"_

"_Hehe what about her? She ain't goin anywhere…"_

The guards footsteps grew distant along with their voices as they walked down the corridor.

_Seifer's here?_

She shook her head, "He wouldn't go bad again would he…not after how far he's come…" she mumbled. Her throat didn't seem so parched anymore, in fact, her whole body was buzzing with adrenaline. The initial shock from the news was fading.

_I'm gonna get out of here…even if I have to kill everyone in this place._

First things first.

Closing her eyes, she concentrated her mind on her chains, as her strength was returning she prayed she had enough to use her magic. She summoned up all her strength and cast Blizzard to snap the straps. To her amazement the straps broke easily.

_Okay…no anti-magic field. Is that Lucky or Suspicious?_

Whatever she had no time to ponder that now. Her second mission-

_Where are my nun chucks?_

x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x

_I don't know whether to be scared out of my wits or relieved the idiots have fallen for it._

_I think I'll go for the latter._

Seifer was standing on a platform in front of the majority of the Galbadian army, some looked at him with a mixture of awe and fear, whilst some were distrustful and watchful.

Either way they weren't killing him, which to Seifer was just fine.

"Seifer you back!?"

"We heard you went back to Garden!"

"You gonna help us win the war?"

Voices from all sides shouted questions until a huge clanging noise silenced them.

Standing also on the platform, holding a enormous hammer was a foreboding man in military uniform.

The leader of the Galbadian army. General Wyatt.

Wyatt wrapped his hammer again, "Silence! For those who are unsure on any matters regarding the arrival of Almassy, I will confirm it clearly enough so that no one should be left wondering."

Without turning around to face Seifer, the General pointed a finger in his direction with a smirk, "This man is a traitor. He fled the Galbadian army in disgrace, he has no right to take place as leader again. Not now-" he cut the air with his arm, "Or Ever. Just because he has illusions that he can simply come back and take charge again is preposterous, in fact its even laughable. It is clear to me that he-"

The General limply fell to the floor.

The audience was silenced as Seifer, quick as lightening slit the Generals throat. Sheathing the gun blade, Seifer walked up to the front of the stage, stepping over the prone body.

"Now let me make _this _clear." He spoke softly and menacingly, "I am Seifer Almassy, leader of the Galbadian Army. Anyone who is unsure on this will be guaranteed a quick exit similar to Mr Wyatt's here." He nudged the ex-Generals body. "So," he opened his arms out and grinned, "Where's my welcome party?"

After a moments silence, the crowd cheered heartily.

Seifer grinned, this was working out just fine.

_No..no..no..no…No_

_This can not be happening._

She watched in horror as the former general slumped onto the ground, and the new leader stepped up onto the stage.

Seifer….back on the Galbadians side…

_Not again…it can't be-_

Hands to her mouth, Selphie slowly backed up in dismay, she was about to turn around to sneak out when she bumped into something…soft.

A Guard.

Selphie squealed in surprise but found herself being pushed back and shushed by….

_Quistis?_

"Quistis!" Selphie was so shocked to see her friend that she forgot to keep her voice down.

Quistis' eyes widen in horror, "Selphie shush, you'll blow our cove-"

But it was too late.

As the cheering lessened, a few soldiers at the back heard Selphie squeal and turned around to find the two women.

"Escapees!" he shouted, "Prisoners escaping!"

The women tried to run but they were too slow, they found themselves being grabbed by soldiers and before long the entire room's attention was on them.

"Seifer! We found prisoners trying to escape! Shall we kill them?" excited voices from all around the room were shouting, and all eyes were looking at Seifer's expectantly.

The room fell silent once again as they waited for Seifer's reply.

Quistis glanced at Seifer. Their cover had been blown, it was time to put their plan into action, it was only a little earlier than originally planned. The entire Esthar army and Balamb Garden SeeD army were waiting outside, all waiting on the signal from-

Seifer.

Looking around the enormous room, Seifer felt a sensation he hadn't felt in a long time.

_Power._

In this room, he had it.

A whole army, His army.

He felt himself waver….just for a moment.

It was a moment too long.

Selphie looked up at the man she loved and saw what everyone in the room saw.

Seifer Almassy, the Sorceress' Knight…was back.

The signal…keep to the plan….that what was Seifer kept focused in his head when he arrived.

But that first taste of power, he felt it cursing through his veins, it was strong, like awakening a desire long since laid dormant.

Ever since he had been accepted back into Garden he had reverted back to Seifer, a laughable traitor who still couldn't even make SeeD. He saw kids walking around in that damned uniform smirking at him, knowing his past and…_laughing _at him behind his back.

But what angered him most was that Squall Leonheart had beaten him again. His childhood rival was a hero, he couldn't let go of his hate towards him. Since he had been back he had been nothing more than a scary tale to warn young aspiring SeeD's of what happened to them should they stray from the noble path.

Seifer _hated_ it.

Which was why he found himself wavering, he was on the precipice of a cliff, whichever way he turned now would stay with him for the rest of his life. What he needed now, was his own sign. A signal to point him in the right direction.

When he opened his eyes, he saw it.

Staring straight at him, with eyes full of fear was the girl he loved, the girl he desired more than anything in this world.

The girl he could never have, never deserved to have.

His thoughts went back to that day he shared a kiss with that girl.

_I'll never forget that day for as long as I live._

_If I let this monster out then that's it. I'll have power, I'll have politics, I'll have respect._

_But I won't have her._

He shook his head fiercely, this was insane. Seifer Almassy didn't fall in love, it wasn't right, he didn't deserve love. He tried living without love before, he sacrificed it for power instead and look where that got him.

He made his decision...

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_A/N: Not long to go guys...! I'm writing it as we speak, I hope it's OK, please let me know what you think, if I'm doing ok with carrying on ^-^_


	13. Choices

_A/N: This is it, only a couple more chapters to go! I realise that the story has turned out to be a lot darker than it started out, it was kinda all cutsie love and fluffy when I first started it. But as the plot became more intense I realised the characters had to become more intense, they develop and turn out to be a lot different to when they first started preparing for the war._

_War changes people in more ways than one, so if the characters are slightly different, I hope you can see why and how they turned out like so.  
_

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Chapter 13

Choices

------------------------

"What's taking him so long?"

Squall glanced impatiently through his binoculars, his assembled team waited behind him.

Locke looked in distaste at the young commander, "How did he even know where their base was? The remains of D-District prison ain't exactly giving off vibes of Galbadian grandeur, they usually like to make a show of themselves. Not the place I would have looked."

Squall continued to look through his binoculars, "Which is why Seifer could find it, and we couldn't."

Locke looked confused, "So why'd he think of looking here and we didn't?"

Squall finally looked at Locke, "Because Seifer has a mindset of a Galbadian General, I guess having someone like him can be useful," he admitted grimly.

Locke chuckled dryly, "Sounds to me Commander, as if you almost like the guy"

Squall looked away, a shadow of sadness passed over his handsome face for a fleeting second, "Even if we changed the past, and were never each other's enemies…we could still never be friends" he replied in a soft voice.

Before anyone could say anything else, a roar of fire rose above the roof of the prison and lapped at the walls.

"We have a situation!" Xu's voice rose over the radio. Squall glanced through his binoculars and nodded grimly at the assembled team.

"Its' time."

-------

Flames swept through the hall, causing the soldiers to panic and let go of Quistis and Selphie's arms.

"Let's go!" Quistis yelled above the roar of the fire, she pulled on Selphie's arm.

Selphie resisted, "No wait! Seifer, We have to make sure Seifer's-" she stopped when she noticed that the platform was now empty.

"We don't have time! Come on we have to get out now!" This time Selphie let herself be dragged as the thick smoke made it harder to breathe.

Suddenly the walls started collapsing and the girls screamed as they were almost hit by chunks of ceiling. In the panicked mob of soldiers, Quistis and Selphie were separated.

"Quistis!" Selphie yelled out, she dimly heard a reply but no matter where she turned all she saw were figures of running people. As the hall started collapsing in on itself, Selphie had no choice but to get out of the room, she started running back the way she sneaked in.

She finally got to a place where the smoke had lessened but then realised she was trapped, realising her mistake, she started to run back the way she came when a large amount of debris fell down and blocked her exit.

_I'm trapped._

Heart pumping, adrenaline raced through her body at an alarming speed but it still didn't help her find an exit. As the smoke thickened, she was forced to run back to her cell where she first woke up since her capture.

_There's no exit…_

_Wait, the window in my cell…I can use that to-_

Selphie's blood froze.

For the first time she saw her cell in light she only just realised,

_There's no window._

The smoke was coming down the corridor in thick waves, too thick for her to make her way back to the hall without choking.

She was forced to retreat back into the cell. She scanned the room desperately, hoping for anything that would help, but there was nothing.

Turning around she froze, she couldn't even see through the doorway now, the smoke was like a thick grey opaque blanket.

Against all better judgement, Selphie slammed the door shut.

Darkness surrounded her once more, but at least the smoke was out…for now.

She knew it would only be a matter of time before the oxygen turned into smoke, and she backed up until she was against the back wall.

"Seifer!" she yelled, "This is all your fault! How could you! How could…you…" she started coughing but her adrenaline wasn't ready to give up yet.

"I loved you and it wasn't even enough! You had go turn evil, you…you Big Meanie! Well fine! I'll-I'll come back and haunt you! I don't need you, you-"

Defeated, she sunk to her knees and leaned back against the wall. Already her lungs could feel the smoke weaving its way into the air and she tried not to cry.

_I tried to fight…I tried…but once again I'm sitting here…and this time I can't even save myself…_

"I do need you…but it's too late…I should have said…I should have told you…"

The smoke was choking thick now, her lungs were burning and she was slowly losing consciousness.

_Not how I imagined dying…but hey it's not like I've earned enough for a dignified death anyway…_

Selphie felt her grip on her knees weaken and for a fleeting second prayed she could see Seifer one more time, just once, just to tell him how she felt.

_Even if you're evil…I'll still love you…_

"Even if you're evil…it-it's okay…"

The last blurry image she saw before she blacked out was his face.

----------------------

"Selphie!"

"Selphie, if you don't wake up this instant I am gonna come and haunt your dreams till you wake up."

_Irvine…?_

"Right that's it, I'm officially insulted, first you call me evil and now I'm a two timing leather wearing cowboy. I'm seriously considering leavin' you here."

…_Seifer?_

The next conscious thought on her mind was that she was alive, even if her lungs were burning still, and her eyes were stinging when she tried to open them.

"Selphie?"

_Seifer._

"Selphie can you hear me?"

"..yes…but I can't see you...why can't I see…."

"Try opening your eyes."

With a struggle, she opened her eyes and found herself smiling at…

Squall.

_Oh_

"uh...hey Squall" she responded weakly, she gave a little smile… "so… did we win?"

Squall gave her a relieved smile, "Yes we did. Most of the army perished in the fire, the rest we caught and are now under the authority of the government in Esthar, so they'll be causing us no further problems."

Selphie was about to ask where Seifer was when the rest of her friends wandered in, to her delight she saw Quistis unharmed, smiling and also…blonde.

"Quistis, you're…blonde again!" Selphie exclaimed.

"Yes well-" Quistis blushed, "I never really thought dark hair suited me, it was silly trying to change."

Zell was halfway munching through a hotdog when he replied, "umph…I thought you looked hot…so did your Trepies."

"Yes well, anyway everything turned out ok in the end. We found the leaders, turns out Laguna lead the party on a four hour trek to try to get to Trabia-"

"-Except he took a few wrong turns and wound up getting extremely lost!" Rinoa finished breathlessly, "but at least the Galbadians didn't get them"

"But…" Selphie didn't quite know how to ask if they knew she had been left behind.

"Laguna thought you had already gone to find help, turns out the cockpit had been thrown a few hundred yards away in a different direction, closer to the army's current location…" Rinoa trailed off, looking uncomfortable, "I was so worried about you Selphie!" she threw her arms around her friend.

Selphie felt touched, "thanks guys, it's OK. I just need to rest, almost dying of smoke inhalation isn't that great for your health it seems," she joked.

She noticed the others had gone quiet, "what? What is it?"

Squall cleared his throat, "Selphie, do you know who saved you?"

Selphie gave a small smile, "It was Seifer, I'm sure of it. I heard his voice before I woke up. Is he ok? Is he here?"

"No…he's not here anymore." Quistis looked down, was she mistaken or did the now blonde instructor have tears in her eyes?

Selphie's heart stop beating.

_No._

"You don't mean…I mean, he's ok right? He saved my life! If I'm ok then he's gotta be ok…" she trailed off.

"That's the thing, no one knows where he is." Zell shrugged, "He just sorta took off without a word, disappeared somewhere."

"I hope he's ok," Quistis murmured, "It was touch and go for a while there on which side he wanted to be on."

"Selphie," Rinoa took her hand and gave her a small smile, "Selphie if you believe he's ok then I'm sure he is, you know what he's like. Men like him often do things without telling anyone, like Squall!" she giggled a little and pointed to the commander.

The stoic, silent commander.

"Yo Squall, you ok?" Zell looked at him in puzzlement "You been actin kinda quiet."

Squall didn't look up, "Seifer…he didn't exactly take off without a word." he said quietly.

There was a moments silence in the small room, then Selphie started to push back the covers as she attempted to get up. Rinoa started to protest that she should stay in bed but was silenced by her friend shaking her head.

Slowly Selphie made her way over to Squall, "Squall," she rasped, "Did he say anything to you?"

Squall hesitated.

----------

_It was over._

_With the Galbadian Army surrendered, the world leaders could come out from hiding and start to seriously talk on making a brighter future for the people. The peace had finally arrived-_

_But not for all mans hearts._

_Sunset was looming along the horizon, a glowing red against the dusky sky. It was when Squall took a moment to look up and admire it when he saw Seifer._

_A stoic lone figure, seeming so small and insignificant against the darkening sky._

"_Are you coming?" Squall asked him, not sure whether to ask again as it seemed the other man didn't hear him._

_It was when Seifer raised his head to gaze at the sky that Squall knew his answer would be no._

"_What should I tell Selphie?"_

_At that name, Seifer's heart clenched painfully, but still he did not turn around. "She doesn't need to know anything. She was looking for a white knight, but in the end she found a tarnished sinner. I may not be the man I used to be, but I'll never be what she deserves."_

_This was so unlike him, Squall couldn't believe it was Seifer speaking. His words, normally so mocking and sardonic were now heavy and quiet, as if burdened with the weight of the world._

"_You're a changed man Seifer, you were handed power on a plate and still you decided to do what's right, you gave it up and you won."_

_Something inside Seifer snapped and quick as lightening he whipped out his gun blade and pointed it menacingly at Squall._

_Squall stood block still, he didn't even blink._

"_Is this what you want huh? To give me the good ole sympathy speech and then laugh at me like you always have done?" Seifer sneered, "The 'poor old Seifer, the traitor, the fuckin…neutered…harmless…puppy!" with these last words he threw himself at Squall, gun blade first._

_Squall blocked his attack, but he did not retaliate. Instead he slid into defensive stance and kept his weapon chest level. "I have never laughed at you Seifer, our history may have prevented us from being friends, but I have never doubted you as a soldier."_

"_Not a SeeD though am I? Never will be as good as the famous Squall Leonhart! The champion of all innocent, the man who can't do anything…wrong!"_

_CLASH. Sparks screamed off the blades as they connected with each other._

"_Seifer-" Squall grimaced as the crash of the blades knocked him off balance, "Is this what this is about? You wanna be better than me? Because you weren't the one who beat Ultimecia? I never asked for this fame y'know, I never wanted to be Commander, they just gave me that position because they thought I would make the right choices. But I don't always do that." He broke off, pausing for breath._

"_You wanna beat me? Then fine, go ahead." He threw his gun blade on the floor and held out his arms in surrender, "Nothing to stop you this time. You think it's simply about good and evil but it's not. Sometimes the good people don't always make the right choices, but y'know what, it doesn't matter because sometimes it's the tarnished sinners that do. Regardless of the consequence."_

_Seifer stared at him for a long time, "Y'know puberty boy, I think that's the longest speech I've ever heard come outta your mouth" Then he slowly lowered his gun blade before smirking, "It's not over y'know, but then-"_

"_-It never will be," Squall finished for him._

_In the second they shared a smile, Squall swore he felt a brief moment of mutual understanding and even a hint of…respect._

_With that, Seifer nodded and threw the gun blade over his shoulder as he started to walk away, "Oh and Squall," he paused and looked behind at the brunette, "You're the hero they need right now, the one they deserve. But one day, I'll come back and you can bet your ass this time it'll be to finish it."_

_Squall nodded silently in agreement and then he watched as the fallen knight, with his gun blade over one shoulder proudly walk away._

_---  
_

Squall realised everyone was still waiting expectantly for his answer.

"He told me-" he cleared his throat, _how am I supposed to tell her, I wish I was good with words, damn._

He cleared his throat again and was about to speak when he glanced up at the girl Seifer loved and saw-

He saw hope.

He saw hope for the man she loved, the idea that one day she'd have her knight, even if that day wasn't now.

"He had to go away…he had to leave because he doesn't believe he's the man you deserve yet, but I promise you Selphie-" he added quickly as he saw the hope fade, "that one day he'll come back to you, he told me to tell you…he loves you, he wanted to be your knight, your hero. He hopes you understand."

Selphie felt someone squeeze her hand and she looked up and saw Quistis and Rinoa smiling at her, both in sympathy. She squeezed back, determined not to let them see her cry. Instead she looked out the window and stared at the early signs of dawn breaking into the dying night sky. The blend of paling blue and dusky pink swirling around each other were comforting to watch and she felt the hope rise up inside her.

_Someday I'll find him again._

--------------------------------------

_I hope the intensity level was ok! Soo close now, Again I know how OOC Squall is from the game now after the war...but I sorta hope you can see why...bear with me and you shall see..._


	14. A Hero Through Redemption

_A/N: This is it. The Final Chapter in my story. I'm pleased I've done it woop! But of course it's up to you guys if you think it passed! Just wanna thank everyone who reviewed, it meant a lot to me! Especially **Natersby, **you've been my most loyal critique! Thanks soo much ^^_

_Enjoy guys, by the way when I was writing this I was listening to the Dark Knight soundtrack and realised that the movie and the characters have a few similar traits...so there are a couple of social and moral issues I've put in relating to it...I hope it made sense._

_Thanks again you guys, and I should probably put one of these in as I have neglected to do so for the entire story._

_**Disclaimer: I don't own Final Fantasy VIII - I wish I did because...well every ff fan knows why lol. I own the plot but that's pretty much it.**_

_**-----------------------------**_

Chapter 14

A Hero Through Redemption

----------------------------------------

As the others were heading out the door, Locke arrived.

"Just came in to see how you're doing," he said gruffly, he looked a little awkward as the others were looking at him, "But I see you got company so I'll come back later."

"No actually Locke-" Selphie hurriedly "I'd like a word with you if that's ok?" she nodded to the others and they smiled back.

"Sure thing Selp, we'll catch you later!" Rinoa smiled as she bent down to kiss her friend on the cheek.

"Yo Selphie get better! We'll be back with hotdogs" Zell added with a grin.

Selphie smiled back and waved as the others left the room.

------------

"You're what..?" a stunned Locke looked down at Selphie in her bed, he wasn't sure he heard her right.

"I'm sorry Locke, it's not you I promise," she looked down shyly, she hated breaking bad news to anyone, especially if she was the one causing pain. "But after everything I went through, getting captured, tortured..." she winced as she remembered the intensity of pain she endured through that. "It made me look at life differently, I realised my feelings for you weren't as strong as I thought they were. I'm so sorry, I know I sound like a right meanie." she gave a watery smile as she felt tears forming, she honestly did feel bad for doing this.

_But I have to, I need to be strong._

"It's Seifer isn't it?"

Her face took on a shocked expression, "I-How did you-"

"I heard it mentioned, figured something was going on, before the attack I always wondered why he kept going around looking for you. But-" his expression turned into a puzzled frown," I mean Seifer? Seriously? Y'know the guy just took off when everything settled down? He was one step away from going bad again, one word and he coulda had you killed, all of us killed. You really think he's your Prince Charming?" he shook his head in disbelief and stamped his feet up and down as if he was impatient. "You do realise you're just fallin' for another cowboy?"

Selphie was stung, "He's not like Irvine."

Locke raised his brows in mocking, "No? Well it seems it's heading that way. They both took off without a note, who knows when he's coming back?"

"I know Seifer, plus this time whatever happens. I can take it. He has something he needs to do, and however long it takes I know he'll come back when he's ready."

He looked astounded, "If he loved you, he wouldn't leave you with not so much as a note."

She smiled, "Seifer needs to figure something out for himself, until he does that he'll never feel he's the person he wants to be. That's the mistake I made with Irvine, he didn't feel he was the person for me, but I refused to believe it. True, what he did was wrong by not telling me he was alive. But in a way I'm thankful he did that. Made me realise that just physically being with the person you love isn't enough to fulfill all your desires. Just cos you find someone you love, doesn't mean all your problems and worries disappear. He's on his journey of self-discovery, as I'm on mine. When he manages to find peace with who he is, then he'll be ready to come back and continue that journey."

As Locke digested this, she thought to herself.

_Love strengthens us in many ways, but some things we have to discover by ourselves._

_---------------------------------  
_

"So Seifer's on some sort of journey of self-discovery?"

Quistis was leaning against the wall outside Selphie's room, her gaze fixed on Squall's grim expression.

Squall ran a hand through his hair, "Seems so, guess after everything he's still unsure of where he stands in the world"

She looked like she was about to smile, "Seems Seifer isn't the only changed man around here. Whatever went on between you two obviously was deep because you both seem to speak your mind a lot more, not that Seifer ever had a problem with words and expressing them," Quistis smiled, but her expression turned serious again when she paused, "So?"

Squall hesitated, Quistis was right, being around Seifer again, working alongside with him had taught him more than he allowed himself to admit.

He took a deep breathe, and began to speak,

"The thing is with me and Seifer, is that we've always been alike and yet…neither of us knew how the other was feeling at all. I guess, I'm just surprised that as he changed, I have as well. I guess you could say we were both knights." he broke off and looked slightly embarrassed, as if he was pouring out his deepest secret, which Quistis thought, he probably is.

"Except you were accepted by the people whereas he was an outcast," she finished.

Squall sighed and looked at her, "He chose his path, I just sorta…ended up here. Although I get the feeling it's not over, one day we're gonna meet again, and then who knows, maybe our roles will be reversed. There are no rules when it comes to me and him. So anything could happen."

Quistis raised a brow, "So that means he's coming back?"

"Perhaps so. If only to finish what we started, to end this anarchy between us. "

"And you failed to mention that part to her? You afraid she's going to think he'll forget her? "

Squall looked at her for a moment, "He won't forget her, but a part of me believes he'll be back just to fight me again, to reclaim his place by force rather than peace. I can't say for sure how much he's willing to change. But I do know that the same fighting instinct living inside me is also a part of him. It's not something we can just walk away from. It'll always be a part of us. I'm scared at what he'll have to sacrifice when he learns he has to accept that."

He just turned around and walked away.

Quistis watched him go, she didn't need to go after him. She knew exactly why he kept that to himself.

_Because sometimes, the truth isn't good enough. Sometimes the people you love deserve more. Sometimes people deserve to have their faith and their hope rewarded._

_Because Selphie needs to believe he will return, whether it'll be as a hero, a knight or simply as a man still trying to face his demons._

_Because hope is all she has left to hold on to._

----

Seifer had finished writing his note and left it lying next to her sleeping form.

He leant down to kiss her ever so softly on her forehead, breathing in her scent he allowed himself one minute of wishing, of believing he could stay with her.

But he knew it wasn't time yet.

He would fight his demons, he would spend his whole life if he could to find redemption for what he had done. Refusing to give in to power once was just the beginning of the road. It was valiant to be sure, but no where near as heroic as he wanted to be. Nowhere near the hero she deserved, that he himself deserved.

He gave a small smile, the letter she would read when she awoke would give her hope. It was filled with promise of how one day he would come back and be able to show her how much he loved her.

_I'll always watch over you Selphie._

_I'll come back as your knight.  
_

With one last kiss he straightened up and headed for the door.

She awoke just as he disappeared from view.

Selphie yawned and gave a big stretch, smiling in satisfaction as she felt the warmth of the sunshine pouring through her windows.

_Hmm soo peaceful…_

She leaned over to grab her glass of water when she noticed the folded up letter.

Curious, she picked it up and read the first line…

_To my Selphie…_

She smiled to herself as she began to read.

-----------------

_Oh *cries...thats it! It's over...I can't believe it...So Well? When I finished it I realised that maybe there's a chance of a Sequel here - cos one day I'd like to see a happy ending ^^ What do you think? I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I have enjoyed writing it...(through all the sweat and the tears!) lol ^^ Thanks guys, I'm glad I knuckled down for it, cos every story deserves an ending. xxx_


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